Mud Pies

I am the most discontent and selfish person that I know.

While this is devastating for me to be reminded of on a daily basis, it's so very necessary and I find myself grateful to the God of the Universe who calls me his child that He loves me enough to bring this to my mind.

I've found that the moment I forget how selfish and discontent I am is the moment I begin to think I am something. To think that somehow I've arrived at a better place and pride begins to slip right in, poised to destroy me. I may not admit it or see it that way at first, but that's exactly the problem.

C.S. Lewis said:

 I have never met the man I could despair of after discerning what lies in me apart from the grace of God.

When my pride gets the best of me, that's when I begin to judge. That's when I begin to condemn. That's when I become self-righteous.

When my discontentment gets the best of me, that's when I begin to say in my heart that God is not enough for me. That I need more that what He has given me.

When my selfishness overtakes me, that's when I begin to think I am entitled. That somehow I deserve certain things. That I am worthy.

Hebrews 13.5b says:

Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you.

When I am content in Christ, the fact that I have Him is more than enough to sustain me. And I can have no pride, no selfishness, and no discontentment because I realize that apart from Him, I am nothing.

C.S. Lewis again put it this way:

Indeed, if we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the Gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires, not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.

Lord, help me desire more than mud pies. Help me to desire You.

We Probably Could End World Hunger... But....

I was listening to one of our local Christian radio stations the other day when I heard something that made me say, "Hmmm..." but not in a good way.

It startled me.

I missed the initial question asked by a listener, but from the answer it had something to do with how Christians spend their resources and whether or not it's "ok" to do things like the Music Boat Cruise, a Christian cruise featuring several Christian music artists. I turned up the radio, interested in how the host would answer.

It went something like this:

"I guess we all know that there is more that we can do, but it's not like any of us are going to have our water turned off just because there are people in the world without water. No one does that. I mean, my family is going to go on vacation this year and we'll do things we like to do. I think God looks at your heart and as long as we're doing something.... I mean if we don't sponsor any children, then that's a problem. But as long as we're doing something...."

And here's the kicker:

"I mean, we probably could end world hunger if we never did anything we wanted to do!"

That's the part where, as I mentioned before, I said, "Hmmm".

That's a far cry from what we see in Acts 2.44-47:
"And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all the people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved."

So that begs the question, what if the Apostles had said, "Well, we probably could spread this good news, but then we wouldn't be able to do anything for ourselves. Besides, God looks at our hearts."

Don't think that would have led to the Lord "adding to their number day by day those who were being saved."

So, while I was initially startled that this came from the mouth of a DJ on a Christian station, my next thought was, "Isn't that the attitude I have?"

Maybe I don't vocalize it like this guy, but there are a lot of areas in my life that say it loud and clear.

What would God be doing through me if I weren't so selfish?