Alone in the City: Day Eight (Election Edition)

Being out of the country during election season was quite the blessing. No commercials, no campaign ads, no daily banter. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh.... sweet peace.

Yesterday being election day, however, I wanted to keep up with what was going on. But there is a two hour time difference here so by midnight my time I was spent and off to bed I went, knowing that me staying up til 3am to find out the results would not, in fact, make any difference whatsoever in the outcome but me losing more sleep would make for a long day today.

Being 8.5 months pregnant, there are only about a million and one middle-of-the-night bathroom wake-ups so about 2:45 I woke up to go and thought I'd check Facebook for the results.

It was very clear right away that Obama had won the gold.

What was my reaction? I turned over and immediately fell back to sleep. (Cut be a break, the sun comes up at 4:45 am here!)

When I woke up again this morning, I began to feel the tinge of disappointment. But it wasn't actually disappointment that Obama won and Romney lost. It was a disappointment with the response of Believers to the outcome. Hear me out.

Some of the status updates I've seen have been so gloom and doom, so hopeless and depressing.

I can't help but think that last night as America awaited the results, Jesus was in fact NOT pacing the floors of Heaven, updating his FB and Twitter feeds every 30 seconds and watching FOX News to see the latest poll closings.

He knew this would be the outcome a while back.... like, before He created the world. And what's even more is He planned it that way.

While we sit back thinking that if more people would have just voted, things could have been different, Jesus sits comfortably at the right hand of God knowing that is actually not true. He controlled the polls yesterday, not us.

As much as we like to think we have a say in things, the fact of the matter is, we don't. And most of us like to say that we know God is sovereign and in control.... until His sovereignty and control look a little bit different than what we thought they should looke like.

Jesus isn't disappointed with the election results. In fact, I think He's waiting for His Body to step up and be the hands and feet we were called to be. And He's giving us all the opportunity in the world.

So here's what I say:

Instead of fearing the next four years, praise the Lord that He is in control and that we aren't!

It's time for us, as believers, to stop standing up for these big-time events like Chick-fil-a rallies and Presidential elections and start working out our roles as Believers in the day-to-day.

Don't want to see more abortions? Romney wouldn't eliminate abortion. So, instead, if you're really passionate about it like we all like to say during election season, get in touch with your local crisis pregnancy center and donate your time like my friend Shannon Conner did after the last election. She says:

"Another positive (for me) about this Obama administration is...I can't stand his views on abortion! So instead of being mad about it for 4-years (or 4 more) I started volunteering at Sav-a-Life in my community and have met some wonderful godly women who can pray the house down if they have to!"

Can't volunteer? I bet you can give sacrificially to provide diapers, formula, clothing, and other essentials to new moms who have made the scary choice to keep their babies, despite pressure to do otherwise. Don't have a crisis pregnancy center? Start one! Or at least get on your knees and beg God to lay it on someone's heart to do so.

DO SOMETHING!

Upset about the unemployment rate? Romney wouldn't eliminate unemployment. Get in touch with your local homeless shelter and start volunteering to serve. Search out families in your area who have lost their homes and take them in. Start regularly donating to the local food bank. Participate in fundraisers to fund these organizations.

Before we moved to Brazil, I had met a homeless lady in downtown Chattanooga on night as Richard and I walked back to our car after dinner and a movie. Her name was Angela. God laid it on my heart to begin meeting with her one day a week for Bible study and we did just that for about six months. I assure you that she impacted my life much more than I impacted hers! Was it hard? Yes. Were there days I didn't want to do it? Yes. Was it totally worth the time and money we invested in her? Absolutely!

DO SOMETHING!

Upset about public school underfunding? Romney wouldn't fix our problems in the schools. Instead, find out if your local schools have tutoring programs that you can volunteer for. If there are children in your neighborhood who come home to an empty house every afternoon, invite them over for snacks and games. See if you can donate school supplies to kids in need during the year.

My friend Shannon also says:

"I really don't care for how the administration wants people to be dependant on the government so I'm going to check out volunteering at a youth detention center and hopefully inspire at least one person to pull themselves up and better their life and NOT depend on the government for a handout. I can't save the world but I'm just looking for one."

I know of a couple who sold their big house in the suburbs and moved to the inner city to reach at-risk youth. Sound radical? Sounds like Jesus to me.

Upset about the Health Care crisis? Romney wouldn't make it all better. Start making healthier life choices and living simpler to save money and improve your health, decreasing the need for health care and preparing for the future. Take up an exercise routine. Participate in walk/run fundraisers for cancer, diabetes, March of Dimes, etc. Eat real foods. Research medicines before just taking them because the doctor prescribed it. Look for natural alternatives.

We live in a society that has quickly put their faith in a health system that doesn't have us as its best interest. Start taking charge of what you do to your own body!

DO SOMETHING!

Just don't like Obama for his lack of principles, lies, and corruption? Let's not forget Romney is a politician, too. And a Mormon.... doesn't stand for our core beliefs either. So make it a point to pray for him. Every single day. How much did we pray for Obama over the last four years? Do we not think God is big enough to change him? If we really do think God is that big, let's pray like it.

In other words, stop fearing and dreading and being depressed. Do something!

Live simpler to give more to what REALLY matters: spreading the Gospel around the world. Sponsor a child. Volunteer at a school, homeless shelter, or pregnancy center. Pray for our leaders and teach our children to pray for our leaders. Adopt. Foster a child. Simplify your life so you can serve and give more. Start a program for at-risk youth. Write encouraging e-mails and letters to people you know are struggling. Buy groceries for the family whose husband just lost his job. Cook meals for the sick. Visit the nursing homes.

Give. Go. Serve. Do. Pray.

The people I know who are doing these things, don't have much time on their hands to complain about what isn't happening....

Let's take this election result as a hint from God that it's about time we step up our game.

The world isn't going to know us by who we vote for, they are going know us by how we love.

"By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13.35

Alone in the City: Day Six

"I just feel like I don't have any control at all!"

I said it with anger, through tears while Richard listened patiently.

Then he calmly said the words that were oh so true, but not what I wanted to hear: "Maybe that's the point."

"Of course that's the point, but I don't want that. I want to be able to control something in my life!" That's what I told God. The irony of the arrogance doesn't escape me. I see it for what it is, but I know God sees it in my heart anyway. May as well just say it.

The more I ask God to show me my heart, the uglier things get.

Today, I spent most of the day working on our ministry stuff and was confronted with more arrogance and irony in my heart.

We recently transitioned mission boards and somewhere in the transition we lost some supporters along the way for one reason or another.

And I worry.

I worry as I adjust the spreadsheet to reflect the new numbers and it's less than what it was before. Money has always been a struggle for me. I don't like crunching numbers, paying bills... I don't even like to know what's in our account. It's a source of stress.

And that's wrong.

The irony is found in the fact that I know that God has never NOT provided a need. Even now I sit here with food in my belly, internet at my fingertips, a glass of clean water next to me, and even a list of people who have said in just the last few days, "Let me know if you need anything!"

Meanwhile, in the Jungle, babies are dying from dirty water, malaria, and yellow fever. Tribes remain hopeless because the Gospel hasn't arrived and they watch as their people die daily from preventable disease. Indigenous missionaries long to go into the depths of the Jungle to reach their own people, but the funds aren't there. Marcos (who you can read about here, here, and here) supports himself, his wife, their 2 year old son and 11 Indian students on $250 a month.

Here, we still have more money coming in each month than 98% of the world will see in a year.

And I have the audacity to ask God to let me have control of something in my life. What a mess I would make!

My American heart is so scarred from a culture of excess and greed and I ask God to forgive me, deliver me. I want to see clearly.

"Create in me a clean heart, oh God. And renew a right spirit within me..." (Psalm 51.10)

I pray this, knowing that it will hurt.  After all, "pressure creates diamonds and fire refines the gold" (Tripp Lee).

But it would be oh so very worth it to have the faith of these Christian Indians in the Jung|e who daily fall before a holy God, begging Him, not for money or things or even security and certainly NOT to have control, but for strength to endure so that their families can know the Truth.

God forgive my faithless, arrogant, selfish, prideful heart.

Make me more like the very people You have called me to.

Alone in the City: Days Four and Five

Sorry, no deep spiritual revelations in my heart these two days. Just this:

And these:

 

God gave me the chance to visit Porto de Galinhas (google it, I think you'll like what you see...) here in Brazil Friday-Sunday. I didn't want to go at first because I am an introvert (an introverted missionary sounds like quite the oxymoron, but that's an entirely different blog post) and had no idea what to expect spending an entire weekend with people I didn't know, in a place I didn't know, speaking a language I barely know.

 

Summary? I'm so glad I went. Brazilians are some of the absolute nicest people on the planet and made me feel like we had been friends forever.

 

Plus, I got to sleep in an air conditioned room. Bonus.

 

I'm finding in my ripe old age of 26 that sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is just rest.

 

Rest in God. Rest in His blessings. Rest in the opportunities.

 

Rest.

 

And that's just what I did and while I sit here alone again in our apartment, I feel refreshed and renewed both spiritually and physically.

 

"Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11.28

 

Thank you God for rest.

Alone in the City: Day Three

God is beautiful everywhere.

This simple yet profound thought came to my mind tonight as I looked up at the halfway moon in the cloudless sky, driving back from the most beautiful beach Brazil has to offer.

And I felt very, very small.

But it wasn’t a condescending kind of small, like I was useless or worthless. It was a feeling of peace, knowing that I am small, and that’s good.

It’s safe to be small when your God is so big.

There’s a message that my own husband has taught several times that I came to my mind tonight. (For the record, it’s not fun when the Holy Spirit uses your spouse’s messages to speak to you… it’s a blow to the pride.)

It comes from John chapter 6. To keep it short and sweet, Jesus pretty much lays it all out for the religious elite. He knew their hearts and ignored their empty words, stating they wanted to follow him when in fact all they wanted was what He had to offer.

In verses 26-27, Jesus calls them out, “I assure you: you are looking for Me, not because you saw the signs, but because you ate the loaves and were filled. Don’t work for the food that perishes, but for the food that lasts for eternal life, which the Son of Man will give you, because God the Father has set His seal of approval on Him.”

In short, they didn’t want Jesus for Jesus, they wanted Jesus for His stuff.

Tonight, as I looked up at the moon, I was reminded that God doesn’t in fact need me. It’s not as if when I entered the world, He said, “Finally! She’s here!”

He is beautifully at work and His creation sings His praises and I am very small, nearly invisible.

And He says, “I have chosen you. I don’t need to use you, I want to. And that is good.”

But so often I find myself not wanting Jesus for who He is, but rather for what it brings me. Even the good things—peace, joy, love, hope—I want these more than I want Jesus. And that’s where the problem comes.

The missionary life is often deceitfully intriguing to the outside world. Stories of adventures and conversions and living in a far off place fill our minds as pictures of poverty and redemption fill our eyes. And it’s easy to love God there. It’s easy to be passionate and faithful in the excitement.

It’s the mundane that’ll getcha.

“Can you want me in the mundane?” He asks. “Do you want Me for Me, or do you want Me for what I can give you?”

The answer is hard, but I humbly acknowledge that most times I want Him for what He can give. I want the adventure and the passion and the influence. I fumble when life is just changing diapers and washing dishes and cleaning up messes and living the day to day. I am discontent there in the ordinary.

I fail most in the commonplace.

And He says to me, “I am beautiful there, too. You don’t see it because you don’t want Me. You want what I can give you.”

Tonight, I felt very small—just as I should. And I ask Him to help me desire Him for who He is and not for what I desire that He give me.

He is God in Heaven, and here am I on earth.

God, help me want you in the ordinary.

 

 

 

Alone in the City: Day Two

"If you aren't content with me here, what makes you think you will be content with me somewhere else?"

I've heard the Spirit speak that to my soul too many times before.

Discontent. Always look back, looking forward, wanting more, never appreciating the moment.
 
"But godliness with contentment is a great gain." (1 Timothy 6.6HCSB)

 

These words speak loudly to me.

 

Godliness--with contentment--is great gain. What good is godliness without contentment? Without it, my heart is only seeking godliness for the sake of gain (1 Timothy 6.5)

 

"Am I enough?"

 

He asks me this. And my reply is, "Yes! Of course You are enough!"

 

"Then why are you discontent?"

 

Touché.

 

My discontentment speaks much louder than my empty words, stating He is sufficient but living as though He isn't. Always longing for more--even "good" things. But missing the point--that He is enough. His plan is perfect. Not my preconceived notions of what He has for me.

 

We all like Philippians 4.13--I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

 

It's inspirational, warm, powerful.

 

But what about the preceeding verses that lead to Paul's bold statement? Those are hard.

 

"I don’t say this out of need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need.................. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me." (Philippians 4.11-13 HCSB)

 

Contentment. No matter the circumstances--I can be content because I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

 

And if the Apostle Paul had to learn this, why do I think it will come naturally for me?

 

"I don't know how to learn this," I say, frustrated that I still struggle, fight, fail. Shouldn't this battle be won?

 

"How do I learn?!" I ask Him boldy.

 

"I'm teaching you now," He says.

 

I learn through the hard.

 

 

 

 

 

Alone in the City: Day One

Richard and Elliott are in the States for the next nine days. The past two months of our lives have been an emotional roller coaster as we adapt to city life here in Recife, Brazil, waiting for the birth of our baby girl before we head back to the Jungle. I am on a spiritual journey that I want to share because I think it's important, as Believers, to be transparent. Over the next week, I'll be posting what God is doing in my heart as I ask Him to pluck the weeds in my life. I hope you'll appreciate my transparency and not think less of me for it. I hope you'll pray for me. But mostly, I hope it encourages you.

It's quiet here.

Aside from the noise of the street below our apartment complex and the swirling fan above my head, it's very quiet. No little feet pattering through the house or pleas for snacks or movies. Just quiet.

I play TV shows in the background just for the sound of human voice because the quiet is too much sometimes.

"I don't want this," I tell Him. "Any of it." I figure I may as well be honest since He knows my heart anyway.

I'm frustrated and I am disappointed and I am discontent. And He listens because He knows me. He knows my selfish heart and my clinched fists and He just listens.

Even He is quiet these days.

And I cry tears of anger because I don't get my way and I tell Him I know--I KNOW--it could be worse and life is, in fact, very good in comparison with 98% of the world around me but I WANT to pout and I WANT to feel sorry for myself because I am in fact self absorbed and so very short-sighted.

"Is it so wrong to want more?" I ask Him. "I want to do something great for You, and here I am with nothing at all to do. I'm alone here."

And His reply?

"Just listen to Me."

I'm taken aback as my pride sets in.

"But I HAVE listened! Don't you see where I am? I gave it all away. I left everything and everyone that I know. I am right, smack-dab in the middle of where You said to go. I did what You said to do. I have listened!" I answer, frustrated, tired.

"Just listen to Me."

He says it over and over every time I complain. He doesn't raise His voice but says it softly, gently, like a parent trying to soothe a crying newborn.

I spiritually cross my arms and furrow my brow. And He waits.

Waits for me to listen.