{Don't} Be Careful

We recently invited a young hippie couple to live with us for an undefined period of time.

We met them randomly about two months ago when they were walking down the street to sell their artisans. Our friend and ministry partner saw them with their awesome instruments {and awesome hair!} and said it would be cool to hear them play some music. “Invite them in!” I said.

That led to donuts which led to a few dreadlocks for me and some friends which led to inviting them to our big Thanksgiving bash which led to us asking God to allow us more and more opportunities to speak Truth and Love into their lives which led to us finding out they’d be homeless mid-December which led to “I know exactly what you are up to here, God.... and that is {once again} taking things further than I expected which led to “We’d love to have you in our home... and yes, even your cat."

And I do not like cats.

So here we are and here they are and wow.

And you know what?

They’re really awesome people. We played Monopoly the other night and it was a blast. She can play the “melodica” like a beast and you should see the jewelry he makes. Our kids love them and invite them to play and we spent Christmas and New Years day together because we are all strangers in this jungle town and “we’re each other’s family this year”. We eat together and have had many conversations about life and living and God and Christ and what it means to love and forgive. We’ve shared our struggles {current and past} and we’ve laughed and had frustrations {like when their cat tried to kill our duckling...what is my life??}. He talked for two hours about God and being rejected by “the church” and we shared our stories and what community and the Body of Christ really looks like in the day to day.

Mostly, we don’t tell other Christians we have them in our home. Why? Because it’s the same response.

“Be careful.”

I don’t really know where this idea came from of “being careful”. I can’t seem to find it in Scripture. In fact, what I see in Scripture is the exact opposite. I see people doing crazy extreme things in the name of Christ. I see people living in community and opening their doors and their refrigerators and their closets and their hearts and saying, “There is Love here. And you are welcome here. Exactly as you are.”

But it’s uncomfortable to invite them in. We’d rather preach to them with our words at an outreach one day than with our lives in our own four walls in the every day. We don’t want to do life together. We want to change them. All the while forgetting that we were never—never EVER—called to change anyone. We were called to love. The Holy Spirit does the changing.

And for some reason we are afraid to love whole-heartedly, unconditionally, just as they are. It’s almost like we think it’s the weak thing to do. We need them to see that they are SINNERS! Going to Hell!

But we forget that they are DEAD in their sins. Dead men can’t see. So in our lame attempt to put glasses on them and hand them a Bible, we don’t notice that their hands and hearts are cold because there is no life in them. They CAN’T see no matter how hard we tell them to open their eyes. It’s going to take nothing less than the Holy Spirit giving them sight and giving them life.

Our role in it all is love. {Remember the two greatest commandments?} And here is what Scripture says love looks like:

Love is patient,

love is kind.

Love does not envy,

is not boastful,

is not conceited,

does not act improperly,

is not selfish,

is not provoked,

and does not keep a record of wrongs.

Love finds no joy in unrighteousness

but rejoices in the truth.

It bears all things, believes all things,

hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

It doesn’t say that love is safe or easy or careful or comfortable. It doesn’t describe it as something conditional or something that eventually runs out. It doesn’t say that love tells people what to do or points out all their flaws so that they can get better. Love goes against every human instinct we have because often it just. doesn’t. make. any. sense. y’all.

I know what you’re thinking...of COURSE there is wisdom to be had as well. Some would say it’s not wise to have people in your home like this. But I’d say those people are confusing wisdom with carefulness. (See James 3.17-18 for Biblical definition of wisdom... hint: it doesn’t say anything about being careful.) 

Carefulness says that when they smoke pot one rainy night in your backyard, that you kick them out and deem them untrustworthy. Wisdom says you let them know that is not ok here but that you love them and forgive them. Carefulness says that they may bring with them demonic activity so it’s best to protect your family from that. Wisdom says that you address their spiritualism with Love and Truth {knowing that He that is in you is greater}, covering your home and children in prayer, not fearing the enemy.

We are so very thankful for our community at The Common Thread that encourages us from afar in this journey. They speak Truth into our lives and set an example for unconditional love, self-sacrifice, and humility with open doors and pouring out and dreaming big. When we tell them things like us taking in a hippie couple, their response is, “We’re going to pray with you in this. Here is some of our experience in the past. Let us share with you some wisdom we’ve learned over time. What are their names so we can pray specifically? Keep us posted.”

Doesn’t that sound a lot more like a body of Christ followers, passionate for our neighbors, than, “Be careful!”

I think about it and I wonder what type of impact we would have as the Body if we truly died to our comforts and fears. Instead of seeing people as souls to be saved, we saw them as individuals to love. Jesus will do the saving. He promises He will in His time to those who believe. It’s just not our job {By the way, that was a good call. We can’t even get the basics down, much less save souls!}

If our lives looked more like Love and Hope and less like condemnation and judgment (like Jesus commands), we’d actually be really surprised at the rich relationships we build and the incredible opportunities He gives us to speak His name to people so different from us... and yet so, so much like us.

So let’s stop being “careful” and start loving people where they are, how they are, just like Christ loved us. Let’s bring them in and let them know that we are with them and Christ died for them and there is Hope and Truth in this world. That we were once lost and broken, too.

And let’s all be thankful that God wasn’t “careful” about loving us.

Five Minute Friday: Bare

Joining up with Lisa Jo Baker on Five Minute Friday to simply write, unscripted for five minutes on a simple word. This week: bare.


In this world of façades and masks, I try to live bare.

I don't do it because I like it. It's hard to live fully exposed. It's hard to admit my struggles, doubts, fears, failures as a wife, mom, missionary.

It's safe behind a mask of good. 

Good Christian. Good wife. Good mom.

But the world has enough masks. There are plenty of Christians trying to make this thing look easy so that they can pridefully impress the world. 

I know. I've been there. 

But being bare is where it's at. Exposing our fears and failures because that's when Christ is glorified. That's when His light shines bright and the world sees hope and help for their hopelessness and helplessness.

"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12.9

So even when it's hard, I write unscripted. I allow my heart to be bare because that's what I need. That's what the world needs to see. That there isn't a standard to meet because Christ already met it. And we are free indeed. 

It is my duty to be transparent if I want the world to know the hope that I know. 

So while so many paint on their smile and hide behind that checklist Christianity, I choose to be bare so that others can see that this thing called Christianity isn't about a set of rules. It's about a God who became bare on a cross so that we could be free to glorify Him despite our weakness.

That's where true hope lives. 

Five Minute Friday: Afraid

Today, I am joining Lisa-Jo and others for the 5 Minute Friday where we are given a word prompt and write for just 5 minutes simply for the joy of writing. No editing or backtracking necessary. No need to be perfect. Just words freely flowing from the heart.

Sometimes, I'm afraid.

There. I said it. 

Yes, even "bold, brave missionaries" can be afraid. 

I'm afraid of the malaria and yellow fever and dengue. It can strike my children, my husband, me. I'm afraid of those snakes with venom filled teeth and that river current that's so strong. 

It seems like in the Jungle we are more vulnerable some how. That death and hurt and sickness are more prevalent and lurking about. 

Is it so, though? God says not to be afraid (Isaiah 41.10). And I know in my heart that the fact of the matter is nothing will happen to us outside of His divine will for our lives and that everything He allows is indeed for our good and His glory. (Romans 8.28)

And I should be good with that.

But when I hold this warm little girl on my chest and my big boy declares proudly, "Mama, did you see that cool trick?!" as he jumps from the bed again in triumph, I can't help be fight fear that I could lose them. So, yes I, too, am afraid sometimes.

But I remember that God is good. That His plans are good. That His mercies endure forever.

I don't have to be afraid because He has conquered fear. 

And I am never safer than I am when I am right in the middle of his will for my life. 

So when the fear creeps in about the "what if" this and "what if" that, I choose faith instead. 

Faith in His goodness. Faith in His timing. Faith in Him.

It's much more peaceful here. Because fear is not of God. (2Timothy 1.7)

And I don't pray that we will be safe. I pray that we will trust Him.

How Dare I?

Worry.

It's my thorn in the flesh. I consumes me more often than I like to admit.

I'm supposed to be brave and bold. But I'm fearful and hesitant. I must be adventurous to be on this journey, right? But I'm not.

Usually I fight this battle with Scripture like Philippians 4.8:
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is any praise—dwell on these things.

Or Proverbs 3.5-6
Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding;
think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.

Then there's Philippians 4.6-7
Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

And these are right and good. But recently I found myself consumed with worry and fear about my husbands trip to the Jung|e. Questions and doubts flood my mind.

Will he be safe? Will he come home? The dangers are very real.

The day he left, God spoke to me while at our church's Wednesday evening service. But it wasn't in the usual way. No comforting verses this time. No peace that passes understanding.

It was a reprimand.

The speaker in the class was also going on the trip and had left his phone on to catch any last minute calls about the trip. As the class was wrapping up, he got a text from someone telling him that they and their church family were praying for the trip.

That's the moment God spoke to me.

"How dare you worry?" He said. Loud and clear.

Who do I think I am to worry about how this trip will play out? I have no say in the matter. And while I worry and fret, other believers are praying in faith. While I seek the selfish return of my husband, others are focused on the work at hand--bringing fresh water to a tribe dying for the Living Water.

How dare I be so self-consumed to worry? Because worrying is like telling God I just don't think He can handle this one. Sure, He's done amazing things in the past, but this time? No. This one is a doozy.

Worry is putting my desires above God's glory.

As I post updates about the trip and send out e-mails, I am blown away with the responses from friends. There are literally people around the world praying for this team of men. This team of men that God brought together to do His purpose in His timing in His way.

So I repent of my worry and doubt and trust that God is actually in control... and not me.

And I pray. I pray that God will give me the faith to trust.

And I praise. I praise Him that He loves me enough to reprimand me and say,

"Enough! Trust me."

Thankful Thursday: God's Patience

As I read the e-mail my heart sank. When I got the phone call with the good news, I was ecstatic! When Richard told me about his conversation, I became worried. When we hadn't heard back, I was stressed. When I read the text, I was encouraged.

All of this in just a day's time.

At the end of the day I was emotionally drained, worried, stressed, doubtful, and confused from the emotional rollercoaster I had voluntarily put myself on. None of these were emotions sparked by the Holy Spirit but I felt like I couldn't help myself. With each new piece of news flooding my life I was being carried away by my feelings and emotions and it left me defeated and exhausted.

When we face criticism, I feel defeated.
When we face financial uncertainty, I feel fear.
When we face conflict, I feel stress.

And I find myself lingering on these emotions much longer than when we get great news about a new ministry partner or an encouraging word from a friend or a generous gift from a fellow believer. I allow the disappointments and frustrations to rule and reign in my heart instead of the peace of God. I miss the little blessings He's pouring on me because I can't get past the disappointments.

Then I realize that I'm missing, once again, the big picture. The one that shows God in control and me along for the journey. The one where God works out the details and I wait in patience and awe of how He'll pull it all together in the end.

Sometimes I forget that things just aren't up to me. I don't get to decide when or how or even if things will work out. I don't get to make things happen my way.

So many analogies come to mind with parenting.

So often I have to say to Elliott "you can't pitch a fit and get what you want" or "you can't yell 'no' and get your way". And I bet if I had a dollar for every time I've had to tell Elliott to wait patiently, we'd be millionaires! Yet somehow these ideas don't sink into my own head.

But God is so patient.

He's patient when I'm fearful again that things won't work out. He's patient when I'm angry about hurtful words from someone who doesn't know me. He's patient when I want to try to handle things on my own first. He's patient when I'm prideful and selfish. He's patient when I don't trust His wisdom.

And every time He gently reminds me that He is ultimately in control, I find myself back on my face saying, "Thank You for being so very, very patient with me."

What a good, good God we serve.

What If We Don't Die Young?

I'm a worrier. It's something I've struggled with as far back as I can remember.

For example, one time in fourth grade, a girl came into our class saying that she was late because there was a car wreck on her way to school and the traffic was backed up. I burst into tears because I just knew that that was my mom and that she was hurt and they had to rush her to the hospital and.... Yeah. I was nine and I worried that intensely. (By the way, it wasn't my mom.)


Anyway, the other day I tried a little "reverse worrying". It went something like this:

What if something bad doesn't happen to my family?
What if Richard doesn't get in a plane crash?
What if Elliott does stay healthy?
What if we are able to make first contact with a people group and they receive the Gospel?
What if we do get the rest of our support raised and go to the field next spring full time?
What if my family doesn't ever face tragedy?
What if I don't die young?

And the list continued. Why did I do this?

Because I realized that I have no control either way so it makes just as much sense to worry about "good" things happening.

And what if I do spend the rest of my life worrying and when I get to the end I realize that God was in control all along?

I have a feeling that would be a very embarrassing thing to stand in front of an all-powerful God who already promised He'd never leave us or forsake us and try to explain why I worried so, so much.



"Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Hebrews 13.5




"But none of these things move me, neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry, which I have received of the Lord Jesus, to testify the gospel of the grace of God." Acts 20.24