tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-72203738332947587042024-03-12T19:35:12.084-07:00On the Beautiful JourneyUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger175125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-65397458668935568712020-02-18T13:03:00.002-08:002020-02-18T13:03:33.949-08:00This Blog Has Moved!Feel free to browse the ancient archives here, but then hop over to my new blog:<br />
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<a href="http://www.streamsandthorns.com/">www.streamsandthorns.com</a><br />
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See you there!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-90970461333338725462018-11-06T15:43:00.000-08:002018-11-06T15:43:33.457-08:00When Light Breaks Through<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<i>“Ugh. Firnsdhip. (Yes. Apparently that is how you type friendship after an EXHAUSTING week of preparing mentally for a conversation with a friend that you just don’t see eye to eye with. But you want to. But you just can’t.) <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>I’ve been prepping all day to say it well. To cover it with grace and mercy. But in that moment it comes out all raw and uneven and not at all like I wanted. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>And now I feel emotionally like one might feel physically after a marathon.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i>And still nothing is resolved. It’s all hard and messy and hard to explain. And then those raw emotions, unfiltered, come out in a way that shadows over the truth.</i><i>” </i></div>
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That was a journal entry after a conversation gone awry a few months ago as I sat slumped over my computer, exhausted. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sadly it was only downhill from there. In fact, the whole thing spiraled out of control leading to the unresolved and somewhat confusing end to a friendship. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And I suppose the enemy was pleased since his goal is destruction and death.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I learned a lot about myself and about God’s character in the weeks leading up to that and the weeks following. But the loss was still very real. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So, as I sat on the cool concrete floor next to a dear friend last week while she was wrestling with the aftermath of a broken relationship, I determined to do one thing and to do it well: listen. I wanted to hear her story and what she felt. Right or wrong, I was there to hear and understand. By God's grace this story would end differently.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was privy to the other side of the story from our mutual friend with whom she had the conflict. Now I wanted to see her angle. Where was the light not getting into the confusing shadows of her experience? Where had this whole thing gone wrong?<br />
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Because every story has multiple angles, not just two sides.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The more she talked and the harder I listened, the more I understood.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Turns out it was the same trio at play here that had wound its way into my situation a few months prior. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>Miscommunication. Misunderstanding. Assumptions. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>The ultimate trifecta to destroy all things relationship. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
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As she shared, I prayed and asked for wisdom. When the time came, I gently nudged her towards truth and asked permission to share her side with our mutual friend, the other side of the conflict. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“No,” she said. “Don’t tell her. It will only be more confusing. It’s over now. Everything is fine.”<br />
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<b>Ah. There it was. The lie. The ultimate lie was that if the truth came out then there would be confusion. That it should just be swept under the rug and everyone would move on just fine.</b><br />
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But the truth sets us free (John 8.32). Truth makes a way for forgiveness and that is when light breaks in and dispels the darkness. It is in the silence that the confusion takes root, where the truth is buried, and the darkness prevails. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I assured her I would not tell her story. Instead we would sit down, the three of us, and we would create a space to hear and be heard. Only then could freedom be found and relationship be restored. She agreed to this and I assured her I would be back. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The next morning, as the Amazon sun peeked through the cotton clouds that promised rain for the afternoon, I walked back to her house with the other friend. I prayed for wisdom and healing as we walked into her home. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We found her fiddling with the stereo system, trying to get a station to come in clearly, to no avail. She welcomed us in, though not making eye contact as we settled in on the sofas. With one friend directly across from me and her by my side, I took a deep breath. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There was part of me that held on to the faith that understanding was possible. That when we sit down, face to face, with pure and humble hearts, there can in fact be restoration. Maybe it will take time take. Maybe it will hurt. But it can happen. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The other part of me doubted after what I have experienced. We humans are messy. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>“Jesus, lead us.”</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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I began the conversation by reminding us all that we were there to hear. To listen and understand. “Quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger...” James tells us. A lesson hard learned.<o:p></o:p></div>
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As the discussion progressed, I saw it happening. Slowly but surely (and with some nudging still), the truth began to surface as the stories began to collide. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This was understood one way, when it was intended that way. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This was communicated that way, but it actually meant this. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This was assumed based off of one thing, but that was never true to begin with. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Light breaking through to reveal the truth that had been buried. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
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As the light grew brighter, the darkness fled. It all culminated in tears, hugs, apologies, and forgiveness. There was finally understanding to a situation that had lasted well over a month now. One that had threatened to ruin a friendship of many years and one that very well would have if there had not been space to listen, humility to receive. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I felt humbled and honored to have been witness to this moment of restoration. It took a lot of self-control, in fact, for me not to fist pump the air and shout, “See! I KNEW it! I knew that it could happen. It wasn’t just in my mind. Relationships CAN be made whole again!” Because how many times has the opposite been true? I’ve seen it in my extended family. I’ve witnessed it in my own relationships and in those of close friends.<br />
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<b>Miscommunication. Misunderstanding. Assumptions. </b><br />
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A heaviness that weighs us down. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Oh, but God is faithful. He makes a path to restoration and it is never too late. This was proof.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I took the opportunity to read 1 Corinthians 13. 4-8 aloud. It is written across the walls of Grace House where these ladies spend their days and it has echoed in my mind ever since my own conflict a few months back. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We need frequent reminders as we humans are forgetful. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I read it slowly, letting it seep into our hearts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Love is patient, love is kind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Love does not envy,<o:p></o:p></div>
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is not boastful, is not conceited, <o:p></o:p></div>
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does not act improperly, <o:p></o:p></div>
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is not selfish, is not provoked,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>and does not keep a record of wrongs.....”<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b>That last line. I get hung up there. “Does not keep a record of wrongs.” As I am reading this list of love’s attributes, this one stands out to me. How often do we say with our mouths we forgive someone, but our hearts say otherwise when we keep record? </b><o:p></o:p></div>
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Praise God, He keeps no record!<o:p></o:p></div>
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And that was where this friend was struggling. She couldn’t understand the forgiveness and the love that she was feeling in that moment, the very things that were causing the tears to flow. She had never experienced it and she could not believe it was true. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But it is true. Love lets it go, but even more than that, keeps no record. There is not a storage room full of dusty old books where all of our “wrongs committed” are written down to be used against us at a later date. It is as though it never happened. </div>
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“Love finds no joy in unrighteousness <o:p></o:p></div>
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but rejoices in truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It bears ALL things, <o:p></o:p></div>
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believes ALL things, <o:p></o:p></div>
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hopes ALL things, <o:p></o:p></div>
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endures ALL things. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Love never ends.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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The day before this conversation took place, we had gathered together with other friends at The Donut Company, something our jungle family does every Sunday evening, to re-center and re-focus. To hear from Jesus. Richard had shared John 13.35 with us all:<o:p></o:p></div>
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“By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Love for one another.<o:p></o:p></div>
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That’s the distinguishing characteristic. Love as defined by 1 Corinthians 13. That is what sets us apart in this world. It is so simple. We make it so complicated, don't we?<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s a love that forgives and remembers no more. A love that endures all things. A love that is pure and patient and kind and it never, ever ends. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It is a love that I observed shine brightly that day in that tiny home with the tin roof. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This definition of love is my prayer for myself, my children, my husband, my family, my friends, my enemies, and total strangers who I meet in the day to day. It’s something I fail at regularly. I am often the one <i>asking</i> forgiveness, the one needing love extended. <o:p></o:p></div>
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How thankful I am that God is Perfect Love (1 John 4.7-8). <o:p></o:p></div>
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When we walked back from her house that day, it was as though a weight had been lifted from everyone’s shoulders. Restoration will do that. When a part of the Body is healed after an injury, the whole Body feels and experiences the joy of it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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As it should. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Pray for our jungle family. For understanding and ears to hear when conflicts arise, as they will. For endurance through the many trials that come. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And for our love for one another to always prevail so that the world around us will know we are in fact His disciples. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-307538165043771422018-10-30T12:58:00.002-07:002018-10-31T12:03:13.637-07:00Seeing the Aquarium in the Sludge<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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"Viste mi aquário?" ("Did you see my aquarium?")<br />
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She grinned as she leaned over the side of the platform and stared at the tiny fish swimming in the sludge that filtered its way under and around their house. Enamored.<br />
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She is a glass-half-full kinda gal.<br />
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My sandal snapped and the sludge oozed between my toes as I made my way up the planks to get to the box that she was calling home. It was worse than when I had been here during dry season six months ago, to be sure. She wasn't living in it at the time but now it was where they were sleeping every night. A single mom and her daughter. I could feel my chest tighten and I held back the tears.<br />
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"My sister is living like this," was all I could think.<br />
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It is unfair to call it a house really. More appropriately called a platform with slats. Sheets are strategically but futilely placed to cover the open window holes and the larger cracks between the wall boards. Mosquitoes and flies paid no attention as they swarmed right past.<br />
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Buckets of water sat in one corner and the single, tiny fan vibrated on the uneven floor where the kids piled on the single mattress to watch the hazy cartoon playing on the small TV screen.<br />
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Fortunately it wasn't raining because the water nearly flooded the wooden platform each time it did, lifting mosquitoes and raw sewage to closer proximity.<br />
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"When it rains, I don't sleep," she told us. "I'm too scared it will flood." It's rainy season. Little sleep.<br />
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No locks.<br />
No screen to cover the windows.<br />
No bathroom.<br />
No kitchen.<br />
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Not ok.<br />
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"Jesus. She is one of our own. Help us help her."<br />
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Pricila sat at the plastic table and I could tell she was a little more calloused now. She has been with us for nearly three years at The Donut Company and in that time she has been on quite the roller coaster ride of housing needs and custody battles for her older daughter. To say that women like her are taken advantage of by landlords and the social system would be quite the understatement. So while her living conditions are now far below safe or ideal, after much conversation and council, she felt it better for her to live in a box with no bathroom or running water than to continue to spend half her paycheck paying rent for a puny room with a verbally abusive landlord. That should tell us something.<br />
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But if she ever hopes to get custody of her older daughter back from her abusive ex-husband, who is now under a restraining order, she couldn't possibly do so in these conditions.<br />
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Stuck between the proverbial rock and hard place. Again.<br />
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Bea and Sam specifically have walked with her through some deep valleys and while she has grown in many ways, there is a certain hardening that takes place when life's injustices keep showing up at your dilapidated from step.<br />
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For as determined as she is, she is equally tired.<br />
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We helped her purchase this piece of property almost a year ago, though she has only lived in it for about a month, and more confusion ensued when the previous owner tried to take it away. She won that battle but the war is far from over.<br />
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Richard walked the perimeter of the house. This was his first time seeing the house in person and he echoed the thoughts of us all: this is not good.<br />
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The house is old and built where raw sewage and rain run off from the adjoining neighborhoods, a breeding ground for disease and mosquitoes. We repressed our American savior mode as quickly as it crept its sneaky way to the front of our minds. The initial thoughts of "she can't live here" and "we will find her a better place" were settled and replaced with "what can we do now with what's been given?"<br />
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The reality is, the vast majority of the world lives in similar or worse circumstances and as much as our instinct would tell us to leave this and find better, we realize that is not sustainable. It's not a long term solution. It's a knee-jerk reaction of the privileged (us) that most often does more harm than good. (Sound strange? Tell me about it. But if there is one thing experience has taught us it's there is not always an easy, quick fix to poverty's very real battles and most of the time Jesus is found right in the sludge and slime if we swallow our pride long enough to find Him.)<br />
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Now we see potential in the midst of problem. Fish in the midst of sludge. Just like little K.<br />
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So Richard grabbed the sketch pad and started doing what he does best: trouble-shooting and creating a plan of attack.<br />
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We now have a plan in place to rebuild Pricila's house. To give it new life. To give her new hope after years of struggle. It's a multi-step process that will no doubt be delayed by the rainy season upon us, but it's doable.<br />
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Jhon and a few guys were already able to build her a walkway to her door so that she no longer has to carry K through the sludge when she takes her to school, goes to work, or gets water. First immediate need met.<br />
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The neighbor has graciously allowed her to use their bathroom for the time being, but we have team arriving next week that plans to build her a bathroom before heading to Benjamin to help build Joice's house. Second need tentatively met (pray for no rain that day).<br />
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Our ultimate goal it disassemble the house entirely, keep the structural pieces that are still sound, lift the foundation of the house, create a gutter system that will help drain the standing water, and rebuild the home to be secure and enclosed.<br />
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We project the cost of this project from start to finish at $5,000US.<br />
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We are already praying for the Lord to bring us a team.<br />
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"Aren't there locals to do the work?" you ask. Great question. The simple answer is no. We asked. We've searched. We've had five years of experience to tell us that in this situation, it is more cost effective and timely to get a team to come down and do the work. Of course, our family on the ground will help, too. But we also value the Body coming together to serve in this way.<br />
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Will you pray about giving to this need? Would you be interested in coming down to help physically make this happen? We are thinking March/April 2019 after rainy season tapers off.<br />
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If you would like to give, here is the link: <a href="http://www.theamazonnetwork.com/give">www.theamazonnetwork.com/give</a><br />
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Let's put action to our words and love our sister well.<br />
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We believe this will do more than provide a safe, clean home (though that's incredibly important). This will also open the door for Pricila to finally get custody of her older daughter, who is in a very vulnerable situation with the father.<br />
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Pray. Give. Join us.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-90065885119850657452018-08-28T14:33:00.002-07:002018-08-28T14:35:13.970-07:00In the Ceasing: Letting Go of All the Striving<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“Cease from striving.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">‘I’m not striving, I’m working.’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“Cease from striving.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">‘These are good things!’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“Cease from striving.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">‘What does that even mean? How do I cease from striving when I have so much on my plate?’ <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“Cease from striving.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">This has been my dialogue with God over the last two years. A simple whisper. Almost audible. Three words: Cease from striving. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">And I’ve fought it with every ounce of my being. I have held tightly to my plans in such a clinched-fist way that my spiritual muscles cramp and yet still I have refused to admit: this is the life that God has given me and it is His to plan, not my own.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Two years ago when we made the cross-country, cross cultural trek to where we are now, no one told me how to go from the high-energy, high-need, triage of life in the Amazon to homeschool mom in the aisles of Walmart. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">My proverbial tool bag was full of machetes and stitches and tourniquets for the many crises of life overseas and now I found those completely useless in the decision making tasks of grocery shopping and picking homeschool curriculum. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">And no one understood me. Including me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">There, our home was full of people day in and day out, friends and strangers, like-minded and nearly hostile. But we sat and we talked and we shared and we lived and it was hard but good. A rich life of relationships. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Here, we lived an entire six months at an apartment where I never once so much as saw my immediate neighbors. (Though I know they existed because we once received a noise complaint.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">It’s taken me two whole years to decide that maybe God was not telling me to cease from working (how I had been interpreting it) but to really cease from... striving.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">(Imagine that. God meaning what He said.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">But still I am left with the resounding question of, “What DOES that look like?”<br /><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I’m learning it looks like this:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">If that relationship is meant to be reconciled, He will reconcile it. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">If that goal is to be attained, He will bring it to pass. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">If I am to do anything at all, He will guide me... one painstaking step at a time. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">My role is that of obedience in the humdrum, not-a-soul-knocking-at-my-door day to day. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">My role is a step of faith across the street last night to my neighbor’s house. The one I’ve chatted with across the fence line a handful of times since moving to this house a year and a half ago but never truly engaged with because I was so unsure in this culture of closed doors and busyness of how I could relate to her. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Imagine my surprise when she pulled up a chair for me and we sat for an hour and a half in the light of the flood lamp her husband used to diligently repair his truck. The fire ants bit my leg as I strained to hear her share her story over the sound of the train in the background and the airplanes overhead. Perhaps for the very first time it felt like a taste of home in this desert land. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">And my heart nearly skipped a beat when she said she’d lived on this street for many years and still didn’t know her neighbors because it seems as though here in this culture people simply come home and shut their doors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“And the saddest part,” she said with earnest, “is that no one seems the least bit bothered by what they’re missing.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">It took great restraint not to leap up and hug her in that very instant. Instead I simply stated, “YES! I’ve been saying this, too!” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">She shared of her father leaving her when she was six along with her mother and younger siblings. How she took on a mothering role and worked hard, but relationships were always of utmost importance. When they moved here to the US hoping for a better future, she discovered that there was a lot of.... striving here. But little in the realm of genuine relationships among neighbors. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Be still my soul. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">We talked and we laughed until 10pm. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">And this beautiful conversation came hot on the heels of a day of striving. Dear Jesus, I strove that day with every ounce of human effort I could muster. And to no avail. And I’m convinced that Jesus meant for exactly that to happen. For me to strive, fail.... and then find Him in the simple obedience of one foot in front of the other across the street. No expectations or goals. Just obedience. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I had still been rummaging through this old tool bag, the one I had lugged back with me from a life overseas, convincing myself that these tools were indeed useful for this season of life. How could they not be? But it turns out that a tourniquet for a scraped knee was a bit excessive. And this machete was of little value in this desert terrain. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">No, I would need to trade these more primitive (though once appropriate) tools in for more suitable ones. Like maybe a pencil and a notebook to process the journey thus far. Maybe band-aids and long walks behind my kids riding freely on their bicycles. Perhaps quiet moments with Jesus without the world falling in around us. All tools that were not readily available before, in the hostile and demanding terrain of jungle life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">I can stop all the striving now and live here. I can be present and it doesn’t negate the past. My life can not look like I ever thought it would and yet I can find Jesus here, too, patiently speaking to me. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Two years of Him whispering. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Not long after we moved here, He gave me a verse<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">“</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "times new roman";">I labor for this, striving with His strength that works powerfully in me.” (Colossians 1.29)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #001320; font-family: "times new roman";">I didn’t pay much attention to it, honestly. I read it and read it and knew it meant something for me, but I wasn’t ready yet to cease my striving so I wrote it on a chalk board and put it above the kitchen sink. I think only now it’s sinking in: <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";"><b>It’s by His strength in me that anything is ever accomplished through me. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">How basic is that? (And how hardheaded must I be for it to take this long?) <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Oh, He’s a patient God. And from here on I choose to imperfectly cease from striving. To “let it be” as the Beatles so wisely admonished us. To take a step when I should and wait when I shouldn’t. </span><span style="font-family: "times new roman";">Because one day I’ll need to trade out these tools for new ones as well. And He'll equip me anew. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times new roman";">But for now, these are just the ones I need. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-87431913104633824972018-08-02T20:51:00.000-07:002018-08-03T12:19:28.219-07:00Behind the Picket Fence<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Cambria; margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
She stood there, cautiously baring her heart to me. Her words said to me that she thought I had it together. She thinks I know what the heck I’m doing every day when I wake up and all the things from near and far are calling my name. </div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Instantly my mind went back to a few days ago when I found myself weeping uncontrollably under the covers and pillows on my bed, my bedroom door locked to the demands of my kids, and my heart physically aching in my chest because I miss my jungle family so much and the loneliness is sometimes too much for me to stand under, so I cave. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Turns out, I’m human like the rest of ‘em.<o:p></o:p></div>
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My house has a white picket fence. It’s quintessential irony calls to me every day when I check the mail or take out the trash or mow the lawn in the monotonous day to day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I gave this all up once, you know. Willingly. Joyfully. I turned it all in for a life overseas. All that I had been called to became my reality. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And then Jesus said, suddenly and unexpectedly, it was time to sacrifice a different way. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It was the harder to say yes that time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Now I find myself at Walmart and still, two years back on this side of the border, I fight another anxiety attack because the aisles seem so long and toilet paper options seem like a task of decision making prowess that I’m just not equipped for. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But those are not the photos we put on social media are they? Of our struggle to reconcile broken dreams with the beautiful life given. Of not being able to relate or not being understood because suddenly you are thousands of miles from everyone who knows you best. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I never post an instastory of me losing it with my daughter because the lies seem insurmountable and never ending and five years into this confusing and refining role of adoptive mom to a child with a hurtful past, I still feel as lost as ever many (most?) days. And there are harsh words and apologies and lies followed by truth revealed and lessons learned for both of us. Tears and hugs and another step forward after two steps back. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do to face myself in this mirror of adoption. </b>And it’s a lonely road when others just don’t get it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And I have never snapped a selfie when I’m crying on the bathroom floor, shoulders slumped because I feel so inadequate and useless under the weight of raising awareness for the many tangible needs of our jungle family. I struggle to find the balance of here-meets-there, where kids are being abused on every corner and we need funds to reach them but also laundry is piling up and my own kids need me to teach them math and reading and how to tie their shoes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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These just scratch the surface of the social-media “non-worthy” items. <o:p></o:p></div>
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All the while Jesus whispers to me every day, “Cease from striving.” I can almost hear it as though it were an audible voice calling to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And I don’t know yet what it looks like to live that out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So I wake up early and lean in hard. I physically open my hands, achy heart and shaky knees, and ask Jesus to show me He is real here, too, in what feels like lonely loss. He wasn’t only real back when I thought I knew His plans for my life. My preconceived and naive ideas of who He is and what He has called me to isn’t enough. He is bigger and better and His ways are true and good. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My calling is not to know all the things. It is to trust Him. To look to Him alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Even when I feel lost and inadequate. Even when I see another Facebook post that reminds me I’m here and not there or this way and not that. </div>
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I shut out the voices that can't see my heart and I trust the One who can.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It still leaves me breathless in tears many days. It’s ok to grieve what was lost (or perhaps just reassigned). <o:p></o:p></div>
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Most days, I choose to run back into hope and gratefulness. And you see it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Other days, I collapse in sadness, fear, doubt. And you don’t. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So when I post a photo on Instagram and it appears that I’m living a perfect life, remember it’s my highlight reel. There is a behind the scenes, too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But instead of focusing on all that feels taken, I focus on what is given. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Rather than honing in on what makes my heart ache inside my chest, I hone in on what makes my soul glad. <o:p></o:p></div>
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In place of what appears to have been lost, I look for what I know to be found. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because wouldn’t you know it, that adorable white picket fence doesn’t close properly. You have to lift it up and pull it ever so particularly for it to shut all the way. Life’s like that, too. No matter what it may look like on the outside, it’s always harder and more finicky than you think it should be. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Don’t believe the lie that says <b>anyone </b>has it all together. They don’t. You don’t. I don’t. We are all just humans with struggles. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And really, if you think about it, that’s good news... because it is precisely why we all need Jesus.<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-39005555422290600342017-11-09T12:55:00.000-08:002018-07-02T08:19:17.670-07:00These Demons are Pretty <div class="MsoNormal">
“Go watch Elliott,” Richard said to me very seriously. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I stepped into the kitchen in our tiny wooden jungle home
and looked out onto the back patio where Elliott liked to play in the big water
basin. He was three and a half and full of imagination and wonder at all the
things the world had to offer. I watched as he played contently, then glanced
up into the virgin jungle behind our home. Then a smiled spread across his face
as he waved enthusiastically. That’s when my own smile faded. <o:p></o:p><br />
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“He keeps doing that,” Richard responded to my look of
concern.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Shortly after I called to him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“What do you see, buddyroo? Who are you waving at?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Oh, it’s my friend! See him out there? He is waving to me,”
he said with certainty. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I saw a bucket in the distance and asked if that was it. No, he assured me. It was his friend, right over there. I told him it was time to come in and told myself it was
nothing more than his vivid imagination at play. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Later that same day, we were having a conversation with our
oldest behind a closed door when suddenly we hear Elliott crying
uncontrollably, fearful. I go running out to see what’s wrong and he’s on the
front porch now. He’s pointing and crying. I look and all I see are the trees
surrounding our home. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“What? What is it son?!” I say, concerned. <o:p></o:p></div>
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“My friend!! Right there! He’s throwing things at me! He’s
throwing fire at me!!” <o:p></o:p></div>
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I see nothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Visibly shaken, I grab him up and assure him he is
safe, that Jesus is with him and the enemy can do no harm. My heart was
awakened to a new reality of spiritual darkness and oppression that day. And I
would never be the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
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This story is one of many from our four years in the Amazon
jungle. The darkness was tangible on many days and most nights. The longer we
were there, the more discerning our Spirit became to the evil around us. Many a
night Richard or myself would awaken parallyzed. It became so commonplace that
we could sense it in one another almost immediately and the other would awaken,
wrap themselves around the other and pray out loud until the oppression
subsided. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The demons were dark and ugly. </div>
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When we moved back to the States over a year ago now, we
stopped experiencing these events. It was a welcomed relief as it’s mentally,
emotionally, and even spiritually exhausting to fight this ever present battle we had faced for years.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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But it wasn’t long before we made a stark realization: those
same demons are here in the clean, comfortable, and convenient United States of
America. <o:p></o:p></div>
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They’re just pretty here.</div>
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Here they don’t look like unnaturally tall dark shadows in
the doorways at night. They look like another good deal at Target tempting us to decorate for every season though our homes are bulging at the seams, indulge in new styles though our closets are full, use shopping as our thrill and coping mechanism. "Retail therapy".<o:p></o:p></div>
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They don’t look like a young indigenous boy piercing your
soul with his glare while murmuring an unintelligable language. They look like obsessing
over our homes, our bodies, our cars, our church buildings, our education. "Self-improvement".<o:p></o:p></div>
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They don’t look like your one year old staring into the
corner of the room at two a.m. screaming and trembling uncontrollably. They
look like "liking" about a hundred things on social media that have to do with world change, social justice, and loving the unloveable but not truly
sacrificing for a single one. "Passively passionate".</div>
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The demons here in America are shiny and new. They are
comprised of comfort, ease, and yours and your family’s wellbeing. The demons
here love to disguise as “good” things. “Blessings”. Things that aren’t inherently
wrong.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We have redefined the word “need” in America. We defend it
on behalf of our family’s happiness, health, and protection. We are willing to
pay the price because after all it’s “good”. We will spend hundreds and
thousands of dollars on the newest health and natural trends for our families, futally striving to make every aspect of our home "safe".
We will buy the newest kitchen appliances with all the convenient features. We will
buy all the newest educational tools and toys. We will buy excessive amounts of
clothing (and then complain about the laundry). We will buy the newer vehicle and
the best electronic devices. We "need" them all to function in our busy, daily lives. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And ALL of that makes perfect sense. Why wouldn’t we use
the resources we have to buy the best of the best? Why wouldn't convenience be a proirity? Why wouldn’t we give our
kids the world? Why not indulge? We work hard and deserve it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Unless you are a Christ follower. Unless you believe—truly
believe—that there is a lost world out there who truly lacks. That your brothers
and sisters are literally dying from lack of basic needs. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Then it doesn’t make as much sense anymore. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Then all of the sudden, maybe your kids have plenty of
clothing and hand-me-downs and second-hand aren’t so bad after all. Maybe last year's seasonal decorations are sufficient to make our house homey and we realize it's not the decorations that make it a home anyway, it's the people. Maybe you don’t need all
those new-fangled health products when the access we are afforded in America to plenty of clean water and whole foods can usually do
the trick, just like God intended. Maybe your car can go another 50,000 miles
and maybe that phone you have really is good enough. Maybe your appliances are sufficient. Maybe we cater too much to our kids and blur the lines between need and want, making it impossible for us (and them) to decipher. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Maybe our time and resources have a higher purpose. Maybe
we live in the land of plenty for the sake of the world, not our own little kingdoms.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>Maybe by living simply, we can let others simply live. </b>And
life can slow down enough for us to take it all in. See the needs around us.
Feel the hurt of the world in our own souls. Bare their burdens.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because don’t we look just like the world when we are
keeping up with all the trends? And don’t we isolate ourselves from the needy
when we are too focused on ourselves? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>And maybe—just maybe—we could be exchanging what is BEST for
what is just good. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s past time for Christ-followers in America to stop
kidding ourselves. To stop believing that it’s ok to live self-indulgent lives.
To stop laughing about spending excessive amounts of money at Target and on
Amazon. To actually decide this year NOT to give into the holiday fiasco, no matter how tempting all those trinkets and gadgets are (<a href="http://www.monbiot.com/2012/12/10/the-gift-of-death/#.WfdHI6jTyLQ.facebook" target="_blank">studies show they won't be used in the next six months anyway</a>). To
not just “like” the posts on social media about helping the orphan and widow
and patting ourselves on the back for packing a shoebox or two, but instead
giving until it HURTS. To choose to pray over how we spend our money and ask
God if it’s truly a need or a just perceived “need” based on our culture of
consumption and commercialism. To stop building bigger and better buildings to draw the crowds in but instead giving more and more to our communities, pouring ourselves out. <o:p></o:p></div>
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To be different. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Our demons are pretty here. They glitter and shout, “I’m
<b>good</b> for you!” And all the while Jesus whispers, “I’m <b>best</b> for you. Your job is
to give of yourself. To die to your fleshly desires. To sacrifice. To look
different. I am enough. I will meet your needs. I define need.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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And it’s high time we teach our kids this, too. It’s time we
show our kids that we can maintain self-control at the store when we only
purchase what we came for and not a new shirt and pair of shoes and those towels on sale and a spice rack and six
new throw pillows because they were cute and we just couldn’t resist. Instead
we teach what <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Consumerism" target="_blank">consumerism</a> and commercialism are and we speak out about cheaply made clothing and household items that
enslave men, women, and children around the globe and how we can use our money
and resources more wisely for Christ’s sake. We talk with them about making
healthy choices but being careful not to obsess. That it’s ok to have fun, but
not to overindulge at the expense of others. That we purchase with others in mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The reality is, we all die one day. One day, we leave it all
behind. So even when our homes look like a Pinterest post and we eat all things
organic and we have offered our children the best of the best and our closets
are full and our cars are the newest and so on, at the end of the day God is
sovereign. And the only thing that will add true fullness to our lives will be
the glorifying of God with our lives through daily dying to ourselves and depending
on God not only to meet our needs, but to define them as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel like I have a new perspective, having stepped away from glittery
America into the darkness of the jungle and now back again. My eyes see it. But my heart feels the tug. I find myself “needing” things I would’ve never thought
twice about before, after just a short time back Stateside. It’s a slow fade. I
find myself justifying purchases, though my heart whispers, “This isn’t best.” I feel the pull of commercialism towards the things that aren't inherently wrong, "It's on sale...." And it drives me to my knees, asking the Lord for discernment and wisdom for my family for the sake of my brothers and sisters around the globe AND for the sake of my kids who will one day live independently in this crazy, chaotic, self-centered world. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I share this, not to sounds preachy or judgmental. I share
it as a sort of call to action for American Believers to say “no”. To seek the Lord in decisions with finances and resources, not simply blending in to the culture around us. “No” to
consumerism and self-indulgence. “No” to settling for what’s “good” when we
already have what’s Best. “No” to being like the world, just throwing Jesus in
the mix by keeping “Christ” in “Christmas” and attending a Sunday morning
church service, all the while squandering the bulk our resources on self-centered pursuits. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it’s time to say “yes”. “Yes” to living simply. “Yes” to
sacrificing until it hurts. “Yes” to living as a community, a Body of Believers
determined to give more than we receive and love our neighbor as ourselves. “Yes”
to letting Jesus be all we need and trusting Him to meet our needs. “Yes” to
BEING the church. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No to all the pretty demons around us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Yes to the fullness Jesus has offered us. <o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
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<i>**Disclaimer: I don't presume to know HOW the Lord will lead anyone in this area. Each family of Christ-followers has a responsibility to the Lord alone with how they use their finances and resources. I just encourage each of us to take an honest look, not comparing to each other, but comparing to Christ alone and asking Him how to best use what He has entrusted to us for the sake of the lost world around us.**</i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-55416414138926224812017-04-14T13:03:00.001-07:002018-07-02T08:20:55.022-07:00A Slave Set Free<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I hopped off the back of the mototaxi and peeked my head in the door of Grace House to surprise her. She hugged me tight and kissed my neck, smiling that wide
open smile that I remember from three years ago when I first met her. I
hugged her right back and told her how good it was to see her. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TNvzGERy7Q8/WPEmZNzIyBI/AAAAAAAAA_8/_4niXUqcNrkrURaJ0D90fCt_B3FBEcqgwCLcB/s1600/IMG_2825.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-TNvzGERy7Q8/WPEmZNzIyBI/AAAAAAAAA_8/_4niXUqcNrkrURaJ0D90fCt_B3FBEcqgwCLcB/s400/IMG_2825.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
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And it really was so good. I watched her as she prepared the
food for the kids that day and she worked ever so diligently. She thanked me
over and over for the opportunity to be here, in this place, working. “The
smiles of these kids keep me going every day. Thank you. Really, thank you.”<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
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I assured her that it was the Lord who had led her here and
it was our privilege to welcome her into our family. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Later, as the food was cooking on the stove that would fill
the bellies of many of the kids who didn’t have conditions to bring lunches that day,
she called me over. She sat in the chair and I sat at her feet and listened
intently as she shared with me the last few months of her life.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/12/a-father-for-fatherless.html" target="_blank">Her husband had died unexpectedly back in December, the day after Christmas. Her son, Rafael, is the one who discovered his body. </a><o:p></o:p></div>
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“He had dropped off Rafaela that day at her aunt’s house and
told her to go play,” she recounted. “When I went to get Rafaela later, after
Rafael had found him, she just started screaming. She kept saying, ‘No! He told
me to come here to play! That was someone else! Not him!’ and she just ran back
and forth through the house.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
I held back the tears, thinking of Rafael discovering his
dad’s body, Rafaela learning of his sudden death, and Carla, left alone to care
for her three kids. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But deep down I was confused. I know the rest of the story.
How he beat them, sometimes until they couldn’t breathe and other times leaving
bruises and cuts as evidence. I knew how he didn’t provide for them and
certainly never showed fatherly affection. I'd seen him passed out on the side of the street, drunk. So... on some level, wasn’t this a
relief?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She continued to share with me the depths of their sadness
over the last few months. She said she had gone to the doctor and he told her
that if she didn’t find some joy in her life, she would die. My heart ached. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We are so thankful to have you here, Carla,” I assured her.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She shared more but soon lunchtime came and she moved along to help with all the
tasks. I sat and talked with the kids and the other volunteers, and all the while her story
lingered in my mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VcMOsPdwmNk/WPEqSO3rKLI/AAAAAAAABAM/MloBD1JowBkymWUmAstguHsYH2jLwqFOACLcB/s1600/IMG_4071.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VcMOsPdwmNk/WPEqSO3rKLI/AAAAAAAABAM/MloBD1JowBkymWUmAstguHsYH2jLwqFOACLcB/s320/IMG_4071.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b>Carla's daughter, Rafaela</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That evening, Rosa and I sat down along with Bea, and Rosa
delved deeper into the story. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“The woman she worked for beat her. Her employer's children
would beat her, too,” she shared. I could tell this was heavy for her to speak. “If
there wasn’t enough food to eat at lunch, Carla would go hungry or they would
give her rotten food. She worked six days a week, all day. They paid her $120 reales (Brazilian currency) a month (**that’s the equivalent of $37 US).” I grimaced as she shared more
details. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Again I felt confused. Because the Carla I’ve always seen
maintained a smile on her face. She cared for her children with the little she
had. I would’ve never guessed the extent of her suffering. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“One day she came to me and asked if she could work at Grace
House. If maybe we would have a job for her. Because she thought her employers
might be paying her unfairly.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Carla can’t read. And she doesn’t know the difference
between a 10 Real bill and a 100 Real bill. When she finally opened up with
Rosa back in February about how they were treating her (for years now), Rosa wrote me to see if
there was a possibility to employ her to help at the house. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We didn’t know all of these details at the time, but we said
yes. We don’t have the funding, but we do know that Carla and her three
children have been special to us for years now and it was no coicidence. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sRckitqt5gw/WPEq_mdweQI/AAAAAAAABAU/Y2wRUc1IdCs-P1fQmMpNoxy2cNH_00TWACLcB/s1600/IMG_2827.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-sRckitqt5gw/WPEq_mdweQI/AAAAAAAABAU/Y2wRUc1IdCs-P1fQmMpNoxy2cNH_00TWACLcB/s400/IMG_2827.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When Carla received her first month’s pay of $500 reales, she told Rosa she
wanted to buy a few things. Rosa offered to take her to the grocery store. When
she would ask if she had enough money to buy a certain item, Rosa would say
yes, because she had plenty. This happened so many times that Carla finally
said, “Rosa, I don’t think I can get all of this! They’re going to think we’re
stealing!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Turns out, most of the shops in town were taking advantage
of Carla’s inability to decipher money value and they would overcharge her. She typically walked away with a few kilos of rice, noodles, and maybe a chicken. Rosa reassured her she had sufficient funds and she left that day with enough food for her and her
kids for the first time in her life. She even had money left over. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Rosa, could I buy some shampoo?” she asked as they were leaving. “My employer
told me that people from my conditions don’t buy those things. But I’d really
like to if I have the money.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could feel the anger building in my heart towards this
employer. How?! Why?! Rosa continued. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“She also said that she really wanted a table with four
chairs and a dish cabinet. She didn’t have those things and her employer had
cheated her out of the money she received from the government for caring for
her kids.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her employer would get the
money out for her each month and was supposed to be "saving" it for her. What
should have been over $10,000 Reales (over $3,000US) in savings over the years turned out to
be $1,400 Reales (only $445US). With this money, however, Rosa was able to take
her to buy those items for her home. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“She was like a child on Christmas,” Rosa said, laughing and
smiling. “You’ve never seen a grown woman so happy. She just kept saying, ‘Are
you sure, Rosa? Are you sure I have enough?’”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My heart was full of so many emotions. Anger at her abusers.
Joy at her new found freedom. Thankfulness that God would allow us to invest in
her life in this way. Uncertainty about how we could maintain her salary on the
little funds that come in each month. Faith that God would provide. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s about the time the hardest part of the story hit. Her
employer was selling her for sexual favors to a married man. My heart felt like
it dropped to the pit of my stomach. This sweet lady, probably around my age,
though looking much older, was being verbally, physically, AND sexually abused
every single day. And she told no one because to her it was “normal” life. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus, be near. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I wanted to go and find this employer and give her the
justice she deserved. I wanted to report her for these atrocities and let all
the world know the heinous things she had done to this poor woman. How she had
taken advantage of her ignorance and lack of education. How she had beaten her
down physically and verbally. I was enraged. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I knew there is no justice to be found in this town.
That this story repeats over and over and over again on these streets, with
these kids and with these vulnerable women and even men. I knew that it would
fall on deaf ears. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead I could feel the Spirit telling me to rest here. In
this place of knowing that this ONE has been rescued. That freedom has been
given to this ONE. That her children now have a chance to know Jesus. That she
herself gets to experience His love and compassion every day and have the
life-giving access to a community of Believers who love her sincerely. That her
oppressors will no longer oppress. And that one day Justice will come. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
About that time I heard her voice through the wall in Rosa's room where we were talking, “I’m heading out Rosa!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rosa’s face lit up and she called her in. Carla had that
beautiful smile from ear to ear and proudly walked in with her backpack and dressed in her school uniform. Rosa had enrolled her in the night school so that she can
learn to read, write, and do basic math. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I hope my kids will see me going to school and be
challenged to work hard. They need an education. I keep telling them,” she said to me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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“I think they’ll see that, Carla,” I assured her. "I think they already do."<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>Carla's story is not unique. Many employers in this region take advantage of their employees because there is not a system in place to stop them. But we, as Christ followers, can make a difference. We can build relationships with them, let them know we are trustworthy. Care for their children. Love them. Feed them. Clothe them. Be Jesus to them. </i></div>
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<i>And one day they may have the courage to speak up about their situation. </i></div>
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<i>Please pray for Carla and her three children, Carine, Rafael, and Rafaela. Pray for them to know Jesus more. To seek Him, trust Him, serve Him. Pray for wisdom and resources as we invest as a Body of Believers in families like Carla's. We need people to partner with us in prayer and giving. </i></div>
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<i>For more information, visit our website at <a href="http://www.onthebeautifuljourney.com/">www.onthebeautifuljourney.com</a>. </i></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-91214462231616855472017-01-23T21:45:00.000-08:002018-07-02T08:22:03.578-07:00Life Off the Bandwagon<br />
As I watch from a distance the United States becoming a huge mess, I have very conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I long for God to open eyes so that we remain the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave.<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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But on the other hand, I simply wait and pray. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, it’s hard to see the Light when all seems day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So instead I pray for God’s true Church to come down as the darkness closes in. No more cheap grace and Gospel show. No more divide and conquer. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The Spirit is far from our pretty buildings and well-coordinated programs and our endless checklists of do’s and don’ts.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We hop from bandwagon to bandwagon as they pass by with their Scripture-laden banners flying high, announcing what is right and wrong. All the while our feet never even touch the ground.<br />
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<a name='more'></a> <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because it’s messy down there with the lost and broken. And we don’t even recognize that our bandwagon wheels are only making the mud thicker. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Down there we will get dirty and our clothes will get tattered. We will sweat and we will cry real tears. Our hands and feet will get calloused.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But our hearts will grow softer. Our ears more in tuned to listen. Our eyes focused to see. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Life off the bandwagon is lonely and exhausting because pouring yourself out will require every ounce of you and more. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Loving unconditionally requires that we expect nothing in return. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Nothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It means we get hurt. We may never see “results”. But we keep loving. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And when the next bandwagon comes along (and come it will), we will be tempted to hop on board for just a little rest. After all, many times those banners wave truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But truth without love is useless. Our words without action are meaningless. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So we remember our own frailties and brokenness before His grace came down. We remember we were dead—DEAD—in our sins until His life breathed fresh into our lungs.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Only by His sweet, sweet Grace.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So we stay in the mud and muck of this broken world and whisper truths, not with our words but with our actions. We pray for eyes like His. We pray for our lives to speak grace and mercy. We pray for hearts healed and hope found. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We stop thinking it’s our job to save and condemn. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And it’s down here that we find we ourselves need to drink deeply of the Living Water that sustains us in this barren place. <o:p></o:p></div>
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How good that this Spring never dries up! And on the hottest of days and the darkest of nights, we realize He is found right here with us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It is in that moment—our awareness of Him—we are no longer afraid. We aren’t afraid to love with our whole being. We aren’t afraid of what others will think or say when we walk with the broken—even those who have yet to realize they have cracks and those who never come to the truth. We walk beside them just the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We are no longer afraid of not seeing the “results” we long for. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We trust Him so. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We will go as far as we can to show that this Love is real. No news will shake us. No words will break us. Because we will physically ache for those who have yet to see the Light. So much so that the only place we want to be is right in the midst of the hard and ugly. Right beside the lost and lonely.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So here is the invitation to come down. It is too hard to hear the cries from up there anyway. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Live among the dead. Put your heart into action. No more shouting truths. Just living Love in humility and gratitude to the One who healed our own wounds.<o:p></o:p></div>
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God promises to handle the rest.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<i>This is a repost from June 2015. I found it today reading through some old posts and it felt very relevant. I hope it can encourage some of you. </i><br />
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is not a call to giving in, as some would assume. I pray you hear my words. This is a call to action. We have, as a whole, confused the volume of our voice with the deeds of our hands. So often we are passively passionate about so many things. This manifests itself in the form of social media posts and podium outcries, making clear where we stand on issues. But it neglects to create humility and a love that is moved to action. May we be “quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger” as James admonishes. May we realize that “perfect love drives out fear” as John tells us. This is not only fear of the future, but fear of the “what-if”. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Loving the broken doesn’t mean selling out or even condoning sin. Quite the contrary. Jesus tells us, “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let’s love loud because in so doing, we will speak volumes.</i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-74832634678389860352016-12-26T23:29:00.001-08:002018-07-02T08:23:05.741-07:00A Father for the FatherlessI'll never forget the look on his face. It is a memory that has come to mind many times since that day over three years ago now. I watched as a man staggered around, finally collapsing to the ground in a heap of drunkeness and I glanced over to see the stare on Rafael's face. It wasn't what you might imagine to see on the face of a ten-year-old boy who just saw his father pass out right in front of the crowd of kids who had gathered together for a friend's birthday party.<br />
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It was a sort of blank stare with an odd grin. It wasn't a happy grin, though. (Is there a happy grin to be had when you witness this... again?) It was an embarrassed grin. He continued to watch as Rosa calmly called to her boys to carefully drag him from the road and place him in the grass where at least the risk of getting hit by a mototaxi was lessened.<br />
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I pulled Rafael in close and hugged his rigid body tight.<br />
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"It's ok. You don't have to be embarassed," I spoke softly. "You didn't choose that life for your father. You can be different."<br />
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Tears ran down his cheeks and I held him closely.<br />
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We knew his story well enough by now. His mother is a hard-working woman with mental disabilities but a woman who cares for her children with what very little she has. Of the dozens of street kids that used to frequent our living room floor, she's the only one who ever showed up looking for her kids at dinner time. She came with a big sideways grin that will light up a room and all the respect one could have, asking if her kids had been any trouble at all. Even though we'd assure her that hers were indeed some of the politest to grace our home, she once gave us permission to "whip them" if we needed to. She had taught them to have respect and she wouldn't allow any differently.<br />
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But there was also the time that Rafael told Richard he was terrified to go home. His dad was drunk and he knew what that meant. The bruises on his older sister and his mom never lied.<br />
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Today, Rafael watched his father die in front of him. The details are foggy, but he came home to see him struggle through his last breath. And once again his heart was shattered. Rosa said he and his younger sister, Rafaela, were nearly inconsolable. And in a culture of bold judgements and accusations, Rafael has blamed himself for not being able to save his father in that moment, though everyone knew it was to be the end for his father eventually if no major life change took place.<br />
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Devastation. The already fatherless left truly fatherless. And while one could say that at least the abusing will cease, there are still so many scars and pains and confusion because this isn't what it's supposed to be like.<br />
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Now that very same grass where Rosa's boys dragged Rafael's father three years ago is the front yard of Grace House. And every day kids come to fill this tiny home up to learn and grow and laugh and play. But many of them go home to these same devastating situations.<br />
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There are stories I wish I could un-know. Stories that make me feel physically sick because I know that in these moments, as I type this out, horrific things are happening to many of these kiddos. And it feels like just not enough to run Grace House for these 40-50 kids. To send updates and share photos and relay stories, trusting that the Holy Spirit will move in the hearts of Christ-followers to partner with us prayerfully and financially and maybe even physically to do more because it's a heavy load for the three or four ladies who carry it.<br />
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Rosa said she's taking in Rafael and his little sister for a while. Rosa, whose home is already overflowing, housing eleven people, only two of whom are biologically tied to her. The rest Jesus' love knit right into her heart.<br />
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And here I sit so far away and I wonder to God, almost daily, why He would move us so far away when He knows that our hearts stayed there. He knows that we long to be present to carry this load and speak Truth and Love. And yet He always reminds me. Today a series of circumstances allowed for our close friend Sam, who is also part of the Amazon Network, to be in Benjamin and he was able to sit with Rafael and speak with him, listen to him, hold him. And my heart fills a little. And the sales from necklaces allow us to give extra this month to cover expenses related to feeding and caring for Rafael's family. And my heart fills a little more. And my own adopted daughter rests peacefully in a safe place tonight because God brought her permanently into our home from that very same street over three years ago now. He's working. The fatherless can know the True Father. There is hope.<br />
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Because we are a Body in Christ. And we can't all be the hands. Sometimes we're the elbow. Sometimes we're a knee. But always Christ is the Head of the Body and He is busy at work with our small offerings like a tiny little safe house during the week or an overcrowded home with not much more than eggs and rice or a photo shared on social media to spread the word about what God is doing. Because Rafael is important to Him. He was knit together in the womb. And we get the privilege of investing in his life so that perhaps one day he can know Christ, his Heavenly Father, and grow to have his own family and learn to care for his children and teach them the love of Christ.<br />
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And maybe through Christ's incredible power we will see this cycle of abuse and neglect in this tiny jungle town broken, for His glory and the good of His Body.<br />
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Pray for Rafael, Carine, Rafaela, and their mom, Carla. Pray for healing. Pray for Christ to make Himself known to them in this dark hour. Pray for Rosa to be filled with faith and love. Pray for Truth to be reveled.<br />
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Pray for all the kids of Grace House and our volunteers. Pray for more workers to come alongside this work. Pray for faithful donors. Pray for faithful prayer warriors. Join us in this battle for the lives of the least of these.<br />
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<i>(Rafael with some close friends of ours, Steve and Debbie. </i></div>
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<i>He could hardly leave Steve's side during their time there.)</i></div>
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-9873304746153611842016-10-03T14:14:00.000-07:002018-07-02T08:27:13.219-07:00Pray for Grace House<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat across the living room from her and I felt like with
each word coming out of her mouth, someone was placing another brick on my
shoulders. <o:p></o:p></div>
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God brought her here and this journey has been devastating
to all that I have ever known. For three years now, our life has been turned
upside down.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She told the stories and I just kept thinking, “They’re
still out there. All of the other littles are still out there.” <o:p></o:p><br />
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And it feels so heavy to walk this path that is our new
normal and to carry this weight with our now daughter and navigate these
treacherous black waters. But what if we had left her there? I can’t fathom.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But what if I had known that this would be so hard? Would I
have said it was worth it? Would I do it again?<o:p></o:p></div>
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All those little faces dance through my mind and I can feel
my heart aching under the weight of it all. I know their names. I know their
stories. I know their reality. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And what more can we do? We have Grace House and it’s a safe
place. But we are new at this whole thing and the growing pains hurt, too. The
enemy just wants to destroy and we can’t know what we don’t know. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So we bend our knees and beg God for wisdom and discernment
with our daughter and with the children’s home because we know—we KNOW—that His
heart is for the orphaned child. He is FOR us in this. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Will you join us? We need prayer for Rosa. We need prayer
for Aurilene. We need prayer for the other volunteers. We need prayer for the
kids. We need prayer for more volunteers, more people with a heart and passion
to teach and love and serve. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We need prayer.<o:p></o:p></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-86618950990615369262016-08-25T05:13:00.000-07:002018-07-02T08:27:51.686-07:00The Savage<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember very vividly the first time I saw him. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Mariclene had been our breakfast visitor for a while and on
occassion she would show up with one of her biological siblings so they could
also devour eggs and bread, often their only real meal for the day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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He was butt. naked. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Every time he showed up. Naked.<br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Fa2QauG3b6U/V_xE0C8bXhI/AAAAAAAAA6k/0PuODiq9RU4ZOy_SQ0o2qdh3OErWcr9RgCLcB/s1600/IMG_1724.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Fa2QauG3b6U/V_xE0C8bXhI/AAAAAAAAA6k/0PuODiq9RU4ZOy_SQ0o2qdh3OErWcr9RgCLcB/s320/IMG_1724.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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His long, seemingly highlighted, curly hair reached his
shoulders and he had this wild-eyed look on his face at all times. He was about
two years old at the time and couldn’t say a single word. He always came toting
his little broken riding toy. (And if another child tried to take said toy,
screaming and grunting quickly ensued!)<o:p></o:p><br />
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<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
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He was the cutest thing, though remarkably reminding me of a
modern baby tarzan.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Richard and I would joke between the two of us calling him
“O selvagem”, meaning “the savage”. Because between the naked buttcheeks and
the grunts, well, he seemed pretty savage!<o:p></o:p></div>
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His two big sisters cared for him, but mostly Mariclea, his
older sister. She was eight. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She would walk with him down the street and fix him a bowl
of “farinha” and water. She brought him “home” and just looked after him in
general. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She was EIGHT. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Fast-forward to our first Grace House meeting nearly three
years ago. We were discussing everything: who would be in charge of daily
decisions, what would a meal plan look like and so on. And then it was brought
up, “What do we do when we are at capacity and there is STILL a need?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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We all just sort of sat there. Because you want to say, “We
will just take them anyway, of course!” But there is this part of you that
says, “What about a place to sleep when the floor is already full? What about
food when you are already dividing up the pieces of bread? And, perhaps most of
all, what about truly providing love when Rosa is already stretched so
incredibly thin?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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We kind of just left it there because who really wants to
address that? We’ll just cling to James 1.5 when that moment comes...<o:p></o:p></div>
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So here we are, reading James 1.5 and praying over it,
asking God to give that generous dose of wisdom. Because yesterday we got word
that little “savage” has been returned to his birth mother. And that’s a really
bad situation. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For the past little while, he has been with another woman in
Atalaia, a little jungle town about 45 minutes from Benjamin. While we knew
that this was also not an ideal situation, we knew that at the very least he
was being fed, had a place to sleep, and was going to school regularly.
Sometimes, we just have to rest in that and God’s grace to fill in the gaps. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But now, the woman who had taken him in has left her husband
for another man and returned the boy to the biological mother as though he were
an object that she had just gotten tired of. I wish I could say that this is
unusual, but it’s not. These types of situations happen all. the. time. Parents
and caregivers are caught up in the poverty cycle and are very detached from
their children. So to pass them off to another is often a mindless, heartless
action. It’s more like a reflex when times get tough. One less thing to worry
about. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So the boy is now with his biological mother and she does
not want him. She has made that clear not only through her words, but through
her actions. She has already given away Mariclene to us and three of her other
biological siblings to Rosa, as well as another fourteen year old boy who lives
with another family, (though he mostly roams the streets). She does not have a
stable home. She sells herself and her things to feed her drug habits. It’s a
terrible situation for a child. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It may seem like the obvious thing to do is to bring him to
Grace House. I hear ya. I wish so much that it were that simple. But to say
that Rosa is at capacity is an understatement. She currently has 11-12 people
living in her 1,000 square foot home with no running water. Most nights there
are 2-3 to a bed. The actual home of Grace House cannot yet be used to house
the children because God has not sent us house parents yet to be full-time
caregivers. This leaves Rosa to continue to manage her own home as well as the
40+ kids that show up Monday-Thursday for the<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>program. Additionally, she feeds 10-15 kids those days as well. And
through various circumstances, all of her full-time volunteer help has had to
step down for one reason or another, some health related, some job related.
This has left Rosa, her middle son Pepeco, and their neighbor, Eliana, to carry
the weight of about 50 kids. <o:p></o:p></div>
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All of this leaves us in a quandry. We know that Jesus’
heart is for the children of this town. We see that throughout scripture. We know
that He provides. And yet, we don’t know what to do. Because all of these
physical circumstances don’t even touch the issue that children from this
background have massive emotional and behavioral needs. Taking in a five year
old boy with attachment disorders and survival instincts is a task for a
family, not a single lady already at capacity. <o:p></o:p></div>
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So that’s what we are praying for. Against all odds, we are
praying for a godly family to take in this boy and truly, deeply love him. He
needs that. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My heart aches, y’all. I want to take him in myself. Having
passed through that valley within our own family, I recognize the immense
struggle a family would be facing to accept him in and the reality is, most
aren’t able or willing. But we are praying in faith the God will send one,
against all odds. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Please pray for this situation with us. Pray for wisdom, faith, hope, and a family to care for this boy whom we all love dearly.</div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>This is a picture from about two years ago of Mariclene with four of her biological siblings.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i> The boy in the front is the boy at risk. The other three already live at Grace House.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>He is only about three-years-old in this picture. </i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-55230171916056894102016-07-29T19:01:00.000-07:002016-07-29T19:10:33.197-07:00Missionary Rehab<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat alone in our new-to-us car and I banged my hands on
the steering wheel and yelled at God that I was angry that this was happening.
That I didn’t want this car or these <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/07/that-time-we-moved-to-mexico.html" target="_blank">plans</a> or these good-byes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let Him know straight up that it was unfair
because we had planned our life there in the Amazon. We sold all of our stuff
four years ago, REMEMBER?! That was because the jungle was supposed to be our
new forever home. Tears flowed to the point that my heart physically ached in
my chest and my breath caught in my throat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was an ugly cry, y’all. I’m glad no one else was there
because you can’t unsee that. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I want to tell you that after that I was better. I
really want to say that one good cry and BAM! the Holy Spirit washed me with a
renewed confidence in His goodness and sovereignty and that I was suddenly a
well-adapted protégé of our missionary forefathers, full of faith and trust in
an all knowing, all sufficient God. {Insert Sunday morning fake smile here.}<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Instead I’m in
counseling because some days I. just. can’t. <o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s missionary rehab, if you will. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I sat in the parking lot before my first session and almost
had a straight up panic attack. I was sniffing essential oils like an addict
and texting Richard so that I didn’t talk myself out of it. “What kind of
missionary needs counseling?” Right?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My first session was an hour and a half long. About an hour
in, I paused after spilling the overview of our life for the last four years
all over her in addition to filling a few tissues with snot and tears. I just
sort of stared at her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She calmly listened, handing me a new kleenex as needed.
Bless her soul. She’s a good one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Her words: “I think if I got down one of my books on
traumatic life events from my shelf, you would be able to check nearly all of
them off the list and then some. It’s a miracle of God that you and your family
survived many of those situations independently, much less all of them. Rest in
that truth that it’s ok to be in this place of fear, anxiety, and confusion.
It’s not the end.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My instinct was, “Don’t patronize me. You don’t know my
life.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Defensive. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But then I realized she wasn’t. (And I had in fact just
shared with her much of my life... soooo she kinda did know my life...) The
reason I was sitting in her office was because we’d gone through some
legitimately traumatizing things and that was ok. There was healing and hope
still. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Breath of fresh air. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went back the following week and then the following three
weeks and it’s been both painful and healing. Because something happens when we
are honest about our pain and we talk through the trauma in light of Hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the difficulties of our adoption and the isolation we
experienced those first two years among other things, I developed an anxiety disorder that’s only
increased in intensity since being Stateside. After all, you don’t get to leave
the country for four years and maintain relationships the way they used to be, especially in a region with internet access comprable to that of 1999.
Even more so relationships that were severed due to others’ lack of
understanding of life there and differences in preference. Now I find myself in
the city where I was born and raised with no close friendships. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a very strange place to be. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The abrupt (to us) ending of our time overseas makes me feel
much like Moses on the mountain staring at the Promised Land but not actually
getting to enter it. We walked some deep, dark valleys and only in the last six
months of our time there did we finally begin to see buds of fruit. A community
of Believers uniting for the cause of Christ. Incredible, unexplicable things
happening. Beautiful. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then God said, “Move. You can’t stay here.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And my heart feels the heaviness of leaving all that we have
known and loved and pursued and sacrificed for, only to return to a wilderness
of reverse culture shock and loneliness and not knowing even where to begin to
share the incredible things that God has done and is doing there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went a solid two months without makeup because why? Tears
are no respecters of mascara. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But there in that small room with the counselor who is an MK
(missionary kid) herself, I can work through these emotions and she gives me
perspective and hope. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My day to day is still very much a roller coaster of fear
and anxiety. A simple decision at the grocery store can send me straight to the
Cliff of Internal Meltdown (WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OPTIONS OF KETCHUP?!). Running into someone I knew in what feels like a
previous life can make my heart pound so loud I can hear it louder
than our conversation (WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT?!). <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This is all new to me. But turns out that actually, it’s
pretty standard if we read—truly read—through Scripture and even biographies of
modern missions. Life is a series of planning our ways in faith and then holding them loosely. It’s a story of being human with all its inconsistencies and fears and doubts and short-sightedness and yet still trusting through it. And
slowly but surely through each season that ultimately leads
to surrender to Him in His perfect ways, we find ourselves more and more in His
image. Our faith grows. Our trust in Him grows. We lose more of ourselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Elisabeth Elliot put it this way: <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times"; font-size: 14.0pt;">“There is no ongoing spiritual life without this process
of letting go. At the precise point where we refuse, growth stops. If we hold
tightly to anything given to us, unwilling to let it go when the time comes to
let it go or unwilling to allow it to be used as the Giver means it to be used,
we stunt the growth of the soul. It is easy to make a mistake here, “If God
gave it to me,” we say, “its mine. I can do what I want with it.” No. The truth
is that it is ours to thank Him for and ours to offer back to Him, ours to
relinquish, ours to lose, ours to let go of – if we want to find our true
selves, if we want real life, if our hearts are set on glory.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";">So I figure if Elisabeth Elliot can say that, and she
walked through some high flames, I can buckle down and trust that He really is
that good and He is sovereign and I can throw to the wind like chaff from the
wheat what others think and what fears may linger in my heart and I can lean
hard into Him and trust that He’s never let us down and He sure isn’t going to
start now. That His ways are truly higher than ours and I can not only rest in
that but rejoice in that wholeheartedly as I look over the last four years and
how it’s been proven true time and time again. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";">This process of letting go is so hard, but it’s also so.
incredibly. beautiful. <span style="font-size: medium;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="color: #131313; font-family: "times";"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-63905022471217016692016-07-13T08:47:00.001-07:002016-07-13T08:57:06.561-07:00That Time We Moved to Mexico<div class="MsoNormal">
I love to write. It’s something God has gifted me with and I
love to use it to share what He’s doing in and through His Body in the jungle.
I’m passionate about it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But something I’ve noticed in this social-media-saturated
culture is that people are overwhelmed by media. Pictures, articles, words.
They are all over our phones, tablets, computers, billboards, TVs. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s numbing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So in keeping with my desire to always be transparent, I’ll
be honest and say I feel so often like my words are useless. Like I’m sharing
my passions... with a wall. And that can be disheartening. We’ve spent nearly
four years of our lives doing some crazy awesome things on this beautiful
journey that God has led us on. We can hardly believe the things God is doing
and I want to share those with everyone and yet... not many people care. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Now, don’t get me wrong. Some people care deeply. And there are a
few people who have consistently written us and encouraged us over the last
four years and several have been faithful to pray and give. And we are so thankful because at times their words and prayers have been what God has used to sustain us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loneliness has been a companion these last four years. But God has been faithful
to use that for His glory and our good. We’ve seen Him build up a community of
people in the jungle, nearly all locals, that we now call family. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unfortunately, we’ve had many share their opinions on our
lives from afar. Most of whom have never actually visited the work that God is
doing in the jungle. They don’t know the names of our Brothers and Sisters
laboring and sacrificing there. They don’t write or pray or give. They don’t
know us. But they comment nonetheless, making judgment calls from afar. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And that’s ok. I’ve been guilty of the same in other
peoples’ lives. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard to understand
something you haven’t experienced. I pray that they can see, but maybe that’s
not what God has. That’s ok, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While I’m slowly but surely losing the desire to try to get
everyone to understand something that I can’t fully grasp—the fact that God’s
ways are not ours and often our plans fall flat as we follow His leading
instead—I feel like I owe it to those who have been on this journey with us to
tell the story of how God is moving us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In September we are moving to Mexico. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ok. So the reality is, it’s actually Laredo, Texas, which is
on the border of Mexico ("I can see Mexico from my house!"). But if you’ve ever been there, you know that it’s a
lot more like Mexico than the US of A! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This may seem really sudden to some of you. And in some ways
it is. In other ways, however, God has had this transition in the works for quite
some time. The last time we had genuinely considered that God was leading us
this way was in 2014. God had closed doors to aviation in Brazil. We still felt
very strongly that our calling was to use aviation as a means of spreading the
Gospel when God put an aviation job offer for Laredo, TX in front of us. We
prayed. We fasted. We sought godly counsel. And we decided that was the
direction God was leading us. It would allow us to fund Grace House as well as
the other ministries much more efficiently. So, we pursued it wholeheartedly
{is there any other way to do it?}. Heck, we had even told several supporters
and supporting churches about it. Then God slammed that door closed through
Mariclene’s inability to immigrate to the US. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were thoroughly confused to say the absolute least. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But after a brief period of disappointment and feeling
totally perplexed, we hoped right back in the saddle again and saw God do some
incredible things. <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/grace-house-amazon" target="_blank">Grace House</a> roots grew deeper along with the relationships
He had given us in Benjamin. We moved across the border into Colombia where
Richard began avidly working towards opening an air ambulance. We got to know
amazing people in Leticia, where God gave us new relationships and lives to
speak into as well as some of our now closest friends. It was also during that
time that <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/the-donut-company" target="_blank">The Donut Company</a> was born. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To be honest, we were feeling quite settled! We laughed
about the time we thought we were moving back Stateside and we began to plan
what life would look like spending the rest of it right there in Leticia. The
Air Ambulance had the potential to fund all of the work, employ locals, help
meet physical needs, and fulfill our calling to use aviation as a tool for the
Gospel. Boom. The whole package.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then January 2016 rolled around and God closed the door to
the air ambulance. And what’s more, we had really worked ourselves out of a
job. Grace House is growing and we have seen truly incredible spiritual growth
among the community of believers in the small town of Benjamin. Marcos and Josi
continue to rock it with the young men in their discipleship program and we
simply help fund their efforts and provide encouragement and support the <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/javari-project" target="_blank">Javari Project</a>. The Donut
Company is growing and totally operated by locals. Of course we were heavily
involved in the day to day, but we had to come to the realization that, while
we could continue to work hard with our brothers and sisters, we still felt
like a part of our calling was being neglected. And certainly not through lack
of effort! God had divinely opened and closed doors, leading us on a crazy
adventure that we never imagined. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we just began praying. Would God have us move to another
country for mission aviation? Would he reopen a door in this region? We just
didn’t feel led a specific way. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fast-forward to February when we get the news that
Mariclene’s immigration was finally approved after two and a half years of
waiting. We were stoked! We made plans to travel to the States for her
citizenship interview and stay for about two months to raise more funds for the
crazy awesome things God was doing. So much is happening and there are so many
needs, that the primary need was funds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we came to the US and in the first week must have said to
one another at least a dozen times, “I never want to live here again!” It’s
just this massive reverse-culture shock. It’s hard to explain until you
experience it, but it’s very real. We were still praying that God would lead us
if He had a new direction for our family in aviation but we were also counting
down the days to our return to Leticia {home}. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s when the e-mail came late one evening from the same
friend from two years back, the first communication about a job since that time.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Would you still be interested in a job in Laredo?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew the look on Richard’s face when he showed me
the e-mail. I immediately pushed it off and told him I had no desire to even
discuss that. Absolutely not. No. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the reality was I already knew in my heart that it was
time. We had been in regular contact with our ministry partners in Benjamin and
Leticia and they were doing great! Not to say they weren’t passing through
trials. They were. Some pretty serious ones in fact. But they were thriving in
the peace of God. They were growing, discipling, reaching out, going above and
beyond, loving, giving, serving. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And they didn’t need us in the day to day. Honestly, it was
a blow to realize that. Don’t get me wrong, I totally rejoiced in it, too!<br />
<br />
<b>That’s the point after all, right? To disciple others who disciple others and
so on.</b><br />
<br />
Our dreams have actually come true.<br />
<br />
But these are my people. They have walked through the valleys of
darkness and suffered with us. We’ve cried and laughed together for going on
four years. I wanted to be there, enjoying the fruits of our labor. After so
many years of loneliness and isolation, we finally have a community that is on
fire! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now, it is time to move on to the next location. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m not going to lie. I’ve fought God on this one. I’ve
cried until my heart physically aches and there aren’t any more tears. This is
all my kids have known. This is all we have worked for for the last seven
years, to love and reach the lost in the Amazon region. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So what does this mean now? Why would He take us from the
Jungle to the Desert? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, I can assure you it’s not because we are wishy-washy
as some accuse. It’s not because we don’t know what we really want as others
have said. In fact, we could technically be flying in Brazil OR Colombia right now had we
been willing to compromise some really strong convictions (but that’s another
story). It isn’t because we couldn’t handle it. (Although, I will say that NO
ONE can handle it. Absolutely no one. Only Christ in us and in others can
sustain in such a difficult place.) No, it’s none of those things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The reality is, our calling is apostolic in nature. That
means that by nature we equip and move on, much like Paul did. We’ve seen that
has been the course that God has led us on our whole life. (If that confuses
you, join the club. We are learning this role.)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’ve spent the last few months “rearranging” a bit with the
<a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/" target="_blank">Amazon Network</a>. We are learning our new role in the Body as advocate for the
jungle and we are praying hard and looking with anticipation as to what God has
for us in Laredo. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of the most beautiful things about it is that by us
coming off of support, those funds can now go directly to the work in the
jungle. Grace House, The Donut Company, the Javari Project can now be funded
more efficiently which means there is more opportunity for growth. We’ve
already seen new outreaches being launched from the network and more Brothers
and Sisters join our family--your family.<br />
<br />
It’s incredible how God works in the most organic
of ways when we truly allow His Spirit to guide. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We want it to be clear that we are not leaving the network
or the work there. We will continue to visit frequently and we have daily
communication. We are advocates for our Brothers and Sisters there and continue
to fund-raise and raise awareness. But now the funds will be liberated and we
can start again in Laredo, trusting the Holy Spirit to lead us as we seek to
serve the least of these there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pray for us all as we make this transition. We sold
everything before we moved nearly four years ago so it’s very much like
starting over physically as well as mentally. It’s a strange thing to be back
in the city you grew up in and yet feel like you know no one. You miss a lot in
four years and reverse culture shock is a doozie. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you have questions, feel free to ask us. We have always
strived to be transparent so we welcome feedback and dialogue. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Thank you to all of you who are walking this journey with
us. We greatly appreciate each of you and we look forward to the adventures
ahead!<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>This is not the end of the book, just a new chapter... I hope you’ll
continue reading. </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i>A little recap of our life for the last four years....</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i47Jk63PUdM/V4Vn1n39H8I/AAAAAAAAA4Q/CcMPRBUDuskukDnmRoxcbRoHGquKt3LXACLcB/s1600/Screen%2BShot%2B2016-07-12%2Bat%2B3.55.22%2BPM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="271" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-i47Jk63PUdM/V4Vn1n39H8I/AAAAAAAAA4Q/CcMPRBUDuskukDnmRoxcbRoHGquKt3LXACLcB/s400/Screen%2BShot%2B2016-07-12%2Bat%2B3.55.22%2BPM.png" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-87602785955653632672016-06-16T12:43:00.003-07:002016-06-16T12:58:48.267-07:00When You Know You Aren't Called<div class="MsoNormal">
I watched him as he focused so intently on those little
circles on the page. His little hand moving slowly but surely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It felt surreal. This is the same boy who I had little hope
for. <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2015/01/pancakes-and-prayers.html" target="_blank">The one I wrote about just last year and the emptiness in his eyes</a>. And
yet here he was, in his little red “House Grace” shirt with a pencil in hand
and dedication in his mind. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“How can this be?” I thought to myself. “How is it that God
would allow us to do this thing? How is it that He would let us be a part of
loving the least of these in this way?” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I remember vividly the conversation that I had with Richard
when we began seeing so many needs for these littles running barefoot and wild
in the streets every day. Back when they filled our living room every morning
and we filled their bellies with eggs and bread and hugged them tight. Richard
and I sat together and life was lonely and heavy and doors had already started
closing to our aviation dreams and we were wondering what our role was here in
the place after all. And I told him that these kids needed a safe place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“We weren’t called to start a children’s home,” he said. And
I knew that was true. After all, {confession} I mostly didn’t even like being
around kids that weren’t my own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yet, there was still something. The weeks passed and still
this lingering thing that there was something brewing in our hearts for these
kids and while we weren’t called to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">run</i>
a children’s home, maybe we were in fact called to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">build </i>one. To facilitate. To empower.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My mind wandered even further back. Back before we moved on
the street that changed our lives. Before we saw these sweet faces and met Rosa
and our life was forever altered. I was sitting in the kitchen of another
missionary. We had only lived in Benjamin Constant for maybe two weeks and we
had yet to look for a house. They had taken us in for the time being and were
orienting us on the small town we now <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2013/05/when-dreams-die_2045.html" target="_blank">unexpectedly called home</a>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“There are a lot of abandoned kids here,” he told me.
“Parents abuse or neglect their kids, but there is no where for them to go. No
safe house or orphanage. If fact, there is a surprising high number considering
it’s such a small town.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“Listen up,” </b>I
remember distinctly hearing the Holy Spirit whisper to my heart. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">almost </i>audible.
I think I may have even had a look of confusion on my face when I thought, “How
in the WORLD does this apply to ME?” <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He went on about this need and I listened. And something was
nagging at my heart, telling me to remember this conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And now, over three years later, I sit with a little boy as
he practices writing letters for the first time. A boy who refuses to go to
school and his mom doesn’t care if he eats or has clothes or studies. But here
he is. At Grace House under Rosa’s daily care being loved and told that Jesus
loves him. That He died for him. That there is hope for him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I glanced up when I heard a boy call out, “Chico!” Chico looked
up and three boys walked by laughing at him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Chico hung his head and stopped writing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Hey, you’re doing great! I’m so proud of you. Look at this
“o”! You’re really learning a lot,” I spoke truth over him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I smiled at him. “You’ve got this.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He sat up, just a little, and started writing again. He
finished moments later and looked up at me with the sweetest grin to show me
his work. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Incredible.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He scurried off to play and my heart swelled. There is Hope
in this place. Hope for Chico and his big sister whose story would break your
heart to pieces. There is Hope for every one of the forty plus kids that come
through these doors every day. Jesus loves these kids and He has plans for
their futures and we get to play a small part. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know what that feels like, that moment when your peers
laugh. They see what you’re doing and they scoff, “They don’t know what their doing!
This thing can’t make it. They’re unqualified. They don’t know what they want.
They need {insert whatever here that they seem to know that we don’t}.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes it makes me want to do just like Chico, hang my
head and stop for a while. Maybe they’re right. Maybe this whole thing will
crumble apart. Can we really impact an entire town by reaching a few kids? Can
we really overcome evil with good? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But the Holy Spirit whispers, “Hey, you’re doing great! I’m
with you! This is <i>My</i> work. You get to be a part. Believe Me. You’ve got this
because I’ve got you. You <i>were</i> called to this.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we put our hands back to the plow and we trust that He
who is in us is greater than He who is in the world. And I see Richard, now so passionate about something we were "not called to do". And we know that He <i>did</i> call us to this, even if it was never in <i>our </i>pretty, laid-out plans. His ways are so much higher than our own. He has a purpose and even
if we only reach one, that’s enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Join us. Join us as we love the least of these. Pray for
their souls to know Christ. Pray for Rosa to have strength to endure the trials
and faith to carry on, despite opposition. Pray for these volunteers that
sacrifice their time and resources every week to love these kids and show them
there is Hope and His name is Jesus. Pray for the kids’ lives to be impacted. Pray
for the parents’ lives to be impacted. Pray for funds to come in. Pray for the
Spirit to open hearts and eyes to the needs here so that they sacrifice and
give. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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Pray. Give. Believe with us that this little <a href="https://www.facebook.com/gracehouseamazon/?ref=bookmarks" target="_blank">home</a> can make a
huge difference for His Kingdom, right here. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XIg1p6hEsfA/V2L_6IJTjaI/AAAAAAAAA3U/2bcxwS-SbEssu2JsnfwFaGvYLRsX34fEwCLcB/s1600/IMG_20160616_153357.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-XIg1p6hEsfA/V2L_6IJTjaI/AAAAAAAAA3U/2bcxwS-SbEssu2JsnfwFaGvYLRsX34fEwCLcB/s320/IMG_20160616_153357.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-25602523041368908802016-06-09T07:37:00.001-07:002016-06-09T07:40:40.818-07:00His Kingdom, Right Here {Part 3}<div class="MsoNormal">
I glanced up at his face while she told me about the boy
that had hung himself just two days prior. He had the same look I’d seen
before—one of resilience but also desperation. It’s a fierce kind of look that
he seems to carry with him everywhere. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And how could you not bare that expression when you live in
this reality of dark forces all around yet you yourself are full of Light? The
contrast is harsh. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
They’d invested in the young man who chose to take his own
life after a fall-out with his wife. He had lived on their grounds like the
dozens of other boys that they care for and invest in, including his own
brother. They’d spoken Hope and Truth over him. And yet, the darkness
prevailed. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s a heavy burden to carry and one that’s weight is
exaggerated all the more when you find yourself isolated in the depths of the
Amazon jungle.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She went on to tell me more about the six-year-old boy who
rejoined their family after having been taken away from them by missionaries
without their consent—the son of a witchdoctor, mysteriously entrusted to their
care. She told me stories that give goosebumps. They’re the kind of stories
that missionaries like to tell from the front of America’s air-conditioned
church buildings. They make good fundraising material. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But it’s not so glamorous when it’s your reality, this kneeling
down early in the morning to pray away the evil. There are 19 young men who
live on their property with them. Each with their own story, their own past.
Some are Christ-followers now. Others quite the opposite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All of them hearing and experiencing the Love
that surpasses tribal cultures and languages and myths and strongholds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But not all of them experiencing the freedom that comes from
knowing the True Healer, Father, Life-giver. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Little nine-month-old Sofia bounced in her lap as she
continued to unload these burdens and my mind tried to reconcile all of the
disparities of young men overcome by darkness with bouncing infants in all the
innocence, wondering how Hope can prevail in all of this hopelessness. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then it hits me that the Hope is sitting right in front
of me. It is Josi, sitting with her daughter whom she will raise up to know
Jesus as her Father. It is Marcos, with his hand on his son Lucas’s back, whom
he will teach what it means to be a Christ-follower. It is little Tepi,
learning from Marcos in the wee hours of the morning as they swing together in
the hammock, speaking of the True Chief. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s the day to day of hard prayers
and hard Truth being spoken on their property on a little parcel of land in the midst of the jungle as they invest in the lives and
futures of these young indigenous men who will go back to their tribes and
communities, armed in the darkness with the True Light. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is Hope. And it’s a Hope that prevails through the
darkest of places and the pierces the coldest of hearts. It’s through the day
in and day out. The bending and pouring out of lives spent for the broken. It's each of us investing in our own disciples, the children He has entrusted to us. It's the dying to of self and dreams and plans for the sake of the one. It's believing that He is True and His Love is worth the cost. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
It's building His Kingdom, right here. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>“The
people who live in darkness </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>have seen a great light, </b></span><br />
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>and for </b></span><b style="color: #434343; font-family: arial; font-size: 14pt;">those living in
the shadowland of death, </b></div>
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<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>light has dawned.”</b></span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b>Matthew 4.16</b></span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vCGXnq9Y4uE/V1l7WrZABoI/AAAAAAAAA1o/92MH27aoY-g80xn6yyZd5lO81EHLVsBkgCLcB/s1600/IMG_6340.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-vCGXnq9Y4uE/V1l7WrZABoI/AAAAAAAAA1o/92MH27aoY-g80xn6yyZd5lO81EHLVsBkgCLcB/s320/IMG_6340.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial"; font-size: 14.0pt;"><b><br /></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial";"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">This is a multi-post series. See His Kingdom, Right Here <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/05/his-kingdom-right-here-part-1.html" target="_blank">{Part One}</a> and <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/05/his-kingdom-right-here-part-2.html" target="_blank">{Part Two}</a>.</span></i></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #434343; font-family: "arial";"><i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Visit <a href="http://www.onthebeautifuljourney.com/">www.onthebeautifuljourney.com</a> for more information on what God is doing through the Amazon Network.</span><span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></i></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-973219232157600752016-05-11T13:38:00.002-07:002016-06-10T08:30:27.040-07:00His Kingdom, Right Here {Part 2}<div class="MsoNormal">
“Play it cool,” I thought, as I fumbled along the unfinished
road with the dignified wife of the former Amazon Governor. She in her
high-heels and me in my flip-flops plodding our way to the notary public just
five minutes out from closing time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“What in the world am I doooooing??” I thought to myself as
I signed the papers for a one-year-lease on a massive leap of faith we had only
brain-stormed and kitchen-tested up until this point. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“This is it. We have officially lost our minds.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She handed me the key to our newly rented space with a
dubious smile and I took it about as uncertain as Peter must have been those
moments before his feet touched solid water. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What followed was a whirlwind of paperwork and fees and
building and sweating and juggling timeframes and learning legal requirements
and hiring and little sleep. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then suddenly, there it was: <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/the-donut-company" target="_blank">The Donut Company</a>. Exactly as Richard had sketched
out on a piece of paper in the middle of the big empty white space was an
incredible testament of God’s power and creativity. Truly a demonstration of
His strength at work in us because I can say with certainty it was only by His
provision and might that we went from Googling a recipe to opening an
incredible, beautiful donut shop in a matter of four months. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Un.be.liev.a.ble. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But as exhausting and draining it was to build out a shop,
to navigate the waters of employee rights and accounting requirements and legal
jargon in your second language, to figure out where in the world to buy
industrial kitchen equipment in the middle of the jungle, to figure out
ingredients and schedules and suppliers and operate new machinery, and so on
and on, the true challenge was yet to come. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because the point in our shop wasn’t just to provide a few
locals a job or to offer a tasty treat to native residents of this jungle town.
Our main objective was much more than affording tourists a trendy escape on
their Amazon expedition. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our whole purpose is this: to love God and love others. In a
town saturated with churches, we want a place for the unchurched. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s the opposite of what we feel naturally inclined to do. But
we are firm believers that if you are surrounded by people who look, think,
act, talk, and live exactly like you, you’re doing it all wrong. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we can shout all day long to a broken world that
they are lost and going to Hell. But they are dead. And dead men, well, they
have trouble hearing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So the language we’ve been commissioned with speaking is
Love. It’s this crazy, unorthodox, supernatural language.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Naturally, some people don’t like the way it sounds. They
say it sounds like we’re hippies, condoning sin and living freely, everyone
doing as they please. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I propose those people haven’t quite grasped what true love
looks like. Because love requires a lot more dying to self and a lot less being
right. It requires a lot of sacrifice with no promise to see the fruit. It
requires massive amounts of humility and shows so much mercy and grace it’s
painful at times. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love is hard. It can be this strange conundrum of sharing a
meal with someone who lives completely contrary to your convictions and
laughing together over a surprise common ground. And it is those unexpected
similarities that slowly break down the walls and lead to open doors and
liberating conversations of how Jesus changed our world and opened our eyes
when we were blind, too, and now we see so clearly that we are all just alike
at our core—broken people in need of a Healer. Maybe our sins look different
than theirs. Perhaps we don’t have the same struggles. Our backgrounds are
different. Our cultures varied. But we are all the same. We all need Love.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And loving hurts. Often. When you give your life to the
wounded, you’ll likely be bruised. People you pour your heart and soul into
will walk away seemingly unchanged, resolute in their habits. We’ve cried a lot
over relationships ended despite our best (though imperfect) efforts to
love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we’ve been labeled a plethora
of things for our open door approach. We’ve had to let employees go who just
couldn’t accept graceful correction. We have had people we considered friends
all but spit in our face when we stood firm on Love. Because sometimes loving
means correcting and sometimes it means forgiving when it’s so hard to do and
sometimes it means watching them walk away but still keeping the door open wide
just in case they return.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love bears all things. Believes all things. Hopes all
things. Endures all things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It never fails.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Which requires time. It will take sacrifice. It will demand
humility and forgiveness and sacrifice and dying daily. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But over time, if we’re patient, we may start to see little
buds of fruit. When that atheist boy comes back to the shop again and again
because “it’s just so different here”. When that girl who cuts herself sits
down across from your employee who grew up fatherless, too, just to talk it out
because “he’s the only one who will listen”. When that same employee says “tell
me more about what it means to love others” because all he’s ever felt in the institutional
church is “not good enough and condemnation” and he, too, wants to love others
well. When those well-to-do clients are baffled that we would use the profits
from the shop to love orphans in a neighboring town. When locals see us loving
the homeless on the streets. When we take in refugees and fight for them. When
we treat the nomadic hippies like actual human beings. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Suddenly it’s quiet here. Defenses start to fall. Hearts are
softened. Ears are opened. And humility and grace finally get a platform to
speak. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So to those who would never set foot in a building under a
steeple? Come on in. Those who look different than they “should”? There’s no
dresscode here. The crazy guy who everyone ignores? How’s a free donut a day
sound? The prostitute working late? Welcome. The homosexuals, the fatherless,
the lonely, the cutters, the agnostics, the atheists, the broken, the
overachievers, the young families, the elderly couples, the enthusiastic teens,
the Average Joe—this place is for you. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we love you. And we believe there is hope to be
found for each and every one of us and that Hope is true Love and His name is
Jesus. He’ll be the one to do the changing. Love will mark you in a way that
you can’t help but share. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jesus said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love
one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Fortunately, He loved freely. He didn’t require us to change
first and He didn’t shout condemnation to the lost. He shouted grace and mercy,
forgiveness and freedom. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He went on to say, “By this all people will know that you
are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He didn’t say they’d know because we had it right. He didn’t
even say they’d know by how good we were. It’s love that they would hear first.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It looks a lot like sitting across the table and talking. It
looks a lot like, “Welcome. How can we serve you?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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It looks a lot like the Kingdom of God, right here. <o:p></o:p><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TX3bO-Wxx1M/VzOeNE1ZVlI/AAAAAAAAA0c/cOsJHXBG4Mc2GVOa8112NMEOTlGQoSRmACK4B/s1600/IMG_7311.jpg" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" height="303" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TX3bO-Wxx1M/VzOeNE1ZVlI/AAAAAAAAA0c/cOsJHXBG4Mc2GVOa8112NMEOTlGQoSRmACK4B/s320/IMG_7311.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>This is a multi-post series. See <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/05/his-kingdom-right-here-part-1.html" target="_blank">His Kingdom, Right Here {Part One}</a> and <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/06/his-kingdom-right-here-part-4.html" target="_blank">{Part 3}</a>.</i></div>
</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-26689290617601557752016-05-03T12:35:00.000-07:002016-06-10T08:29:26.006-07:00His Kingdom, Right Here {Part 1}<div class="MsoNormal">
It was about three years ago last month that God brought one
of the most incredible women I’ve ever met right to our front door. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It was dark out and we were settling down into our wooden
home at the end of a crumbling road in a crumbling society. We opened the door
with hesitation and anticipation. We didn’t know anyone in this small town and,
as the new foreign family in town, we were targets for scammers. Our guards
were cautiously up. She introduced herself as Rosa (pronounced “Hoh-za”) and
her daughter as Vandrena. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I tried in my broken Portuguese to understand and be
understood as she told us her story and we shared a bit of ours. And so a
friendship was born. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The timing of this meeting wasn’t by chance at all. We had
only recently died to some pretty big dreams and were doggy-paddling our way to
whatever it was God had for us next. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We didn’t know the Kingdom was already on this street. His
Body was alive here. And He would allow us to be a part, to find our place. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We began pouring ourselves out. Our doors stayed open. Our
table stayed full. Our hearts stayed broken. Rosa showed us the ropes of
working among the poor. We learned from her unconditional love and she learned
from our unwillingness to give in to pressures from the naysayers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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I’ll never forget when we were sitting in our kitchen floor
chatting one day about life and she was talking about her middle son coming
back home. He had been away for about a year and she was telling him about us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">“He asked what you
guys were like. I told him you guys were simple people, just like us...” <o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
She went on to say other things that I don’t remember now and
had no idea that she had just spoken words of hope and life into my heart.
Because that’s exactly what we wanted her to see. That we are her peers, her
equals. The white man didn’t come here to save, but rather to serve. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We walked an almost two year journey together with Rosa on
that street and watched and loved and served and taught and gave and cried and
laughed and lived. A house was constructed that would bring more children to
the feet of Jesus. More bellies were fed and neighbors loved. Drunks were picked up out of the streets and Pharisees sneered. We invited in the rejected
and those hooligan BMX kids. We built water systems and funded small business
endeavors. I learned to scale fish (earning the nickname “mermaid”) and how to
cut a whole chicken. I encouraged and listened, gave and received. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so many seeds were planted during those trial-filled
years. And by God’s glory we get to watch some of the flowers already blooming
and even some fruit starting to grow. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/thepeople" target="_blank">Rosa</a> is now the Director of <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/grace-house-amazon" target="_blank">Grace House Amazon</a> which is home
to four children: Cairara, Mariclea, Frankie, and Michele. We have been able to
expand her influence exponentially by empowering her and speaking words of
truth into her life. She continues to pursue what God called her to twenty
years ago and what she was already doing, and God has used us to facilitate that in new ways. The feeding
program is well underway, feeding 10-15 street kids Monday-Friday. Many kids
are being tutored in math and reading in the afternoons. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rosa’s oldest son, <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/thepeople" target="_blank">Boboco</a>, whom Richard taught small business skills
and discipled, is investing in the lives of young boys through <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/jovens-talentosos-2" target="_blank">soccer ministry</a>
every week. Her middle son, <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/thepeople" target="_blank">Pepeco</a>, whom Richard discipled for a year and a half and is
one of his closest friends, is pastoring the kids at Grace House as well as his
own family as they face trials and struggles on a daily basis. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our former neighbor on that street, <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/thepeople" target="_blank">Aurilene</a>, is now the Assistant
Director of <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.com/grace-house-amazon" target="_blank">Grace House</a> and serves these kids selflessly every week. She has come
so far from the shy, introvert that we first met as she now boldly stands up
for what is good and right in a society of critics. She and her husband took in
her niece and began raising her as their own. Then they took in his nephew. They know that there is joy in sacrifice. They've seen it with their own eyes. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is something so beautiful when we recognize that this
thing isn’t ours at all. We are a small part of a big Body. We each have a role
to play and it’s an important one. But it’s no more important than any other
part. When we humbly submit to one another in love. When we are quick to hear,
slow to speak, and slow to anger. When we esteem the other as better than ourselves.
When we trust God’s timing. When we accept that God not only created different
cultures, He is glorified in those cultures. When we realize His ways are not
our ways. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we truly DIE to ourselves.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That’s when we get a little glimpse of what Christ meant
when He prayed, “May Your Kingdom come. May Your will be done on earth as it is
in Heaven.” All of His followers, walking in unity just as He commands, for His
glory and the edification of His Body. And the world watches and wonders at it
all. And we invite them in, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And man, is the journey breathtakingly beautiful. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZtnWw3SBDoo/VyqycktQAxI/AAAAAAAAAy8/i7-r_g3Y6ronfXDdll4WpQZ1AMB-umAugCLcB/s1600/IMG_4761.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZtnWw3SBDoo/VyqycktQAxI/AAAAAAAAAy8/i7-r_g3Y6ronfXDdll4WpQZ1AMB-umAugCLcB/s320/IMG_4761.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: "arial" , "tahoma" , "helvetica" , "freesans" , sans-serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 20px;"><i>“I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop. The one who loves his life will lose it, and the one who hates his life in this world will keep it for eternal life. If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me. Where I am, there My servant also will be. If anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.” –John 12.24-26</i></span></div>
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This is a multi-series post. See <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/05/his-kingdom-right-here-part-2.html" target="_blank">Part 2</a> and <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com/2016/06/his-kingdom-right-here-part-4.html" target="_blank">Part 3</a>.</div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-84443387883579062912016-01-10T05:28:00.001-08:002017-04-14T22:36:47.132-07:00{Don't} Be Careful<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
We recently invited a young hippie couple to live with us
for an undefined period of time.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We met them randomly about two months ago when they were
walking down the street to sell their artisans. Our friend and ministry partner
saw them with their awesome instruments {and awesome hair!} and said it would
be cool to hear them play some music. “Invite them in!” I said. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That led to donuts which led to a few dreadlocks for me and
some friends which led to inviting them to our big Thanksgiving bash which led
to us asking God to allow us more and more opportunities to speak Truth and
Love into their lives which led to us finding out they’d be homeless
mid-December which led to “I know exactly what you are up to here, God.... and
that is {once again} taking things further than I expected which led to “We’d
love to have you in our home... and yes, even your cat."<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
And I do not like cats.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So here we are and here they are and wow. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And you know what?<o:p></o:p></div>
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They’re really awesome people. We played Monopoly the other
night and it was a blast. She can play the “melodica” like a beast and you
should see the jewelry he makes. Our kids love them and invite them to play and
we spent Christmas and New Years day together because we are all strangers in
this jungle town and “we’re each other’s family this year”. We eat together and
have had many conversations about life and living and God and Christ and what
it means to love and forgive. We’ve shared our struggles {current and past} and
we’ve laughed and had frustrations {like when their cat tried to kill our
duckling...what is my life??}. He talked for two hours about God and being
rejected by “the church” and we shared our stories and what community and the
Body of Christ really looks like in the day to day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Mostly, we don’t tell other Christians we have them in our
home. Why? Because it’s the same response. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Be careful.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t really know where this idea came from of “being
careful”. I can’t seem to find it in Scripture. In fact, what I see in
Scripture is the exact opposite. I see people doing crazy extreme things in the
name of Christ. I see people living in community and opening their doors and
their refrigerators and their closets and their hearts and saying, “There is
Love here. And you are welcome here. Exactly as you are.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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But it’s uncomfortable to invite them in. We’d rather preach
to them with our words at an outreach one day than with our lives in our own four walls in the every day.
We don’t want to do life together. We want to change them. All the while
forgetting that we were never—never EVER—called to change anyone. We were
called to love. The Holy Spirit does the changing. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And for some reason we are afraid to love whole-heartedly,
unconditionally, just as they are. It’s almost like we think it’s the weak
thing to do. We need them to see that they are SINNERS! Going to Hell! <o:p></o:p></div>
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But we forget that they are DEAD in their sins. <span style="font-size: large;">Dead men
can’t see.</span> So in our lame attempt to put glasses on them and hand them a Bible,
we don’t notice that their hands and hearts are cold because there is no life
in them. They CAN’T see no matter how hard we tell them to open their eyes.
It’s going to take nothing less than the Holy Spirit giving them sight and
giving them life. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Our role in it all is love. {Remember the two greatest
commandments?} And here is what Scripture says love looks like:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Love is patient, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">love is kind.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Love does not envy,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">is not boastful,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">is not conceited,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">does not act improperly,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">is not selfish, <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">is not provoked,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">and does not keep a record of wrongs.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Love finds no joy in unrighteousness<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">but rejoices in the truth.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">It bears all things, believes all
things,<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">hopes all things, endures all things.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "helvetica neue"; font-size: 16.0pt;">Love never ends.</span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It doesn’t say that love is safe or easy or careful or
comfortable. It doesn’t describe it as something conditional or something that
eventually runs out. It doesn’t say that love tells people what to do or points
out all their flaws so that they can get better. Love goes against every human
instinct we have because often it just. doesn’t. make. any. sense. y’all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know what you’re thinking...of COURSE there is wisdom to
be had as well. Some would say it’s not wise to have people in your home like
this. But I’d say those people are confusing wisdom with carefulness. (See
James 3.17-18 for Biblical definition of wisdom... hint: it doesn’t say
anything about being careful.) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Carefulness says that when they smoke pot one
rainy night in your backyard, that you kick them out and deem them
untrustworthy. Wisdom says you let them know that is not ok here but that you
love them and forgive them. Carefulness says that they may bring with them
demonic activity so it’s best to protect your family from that. Wisdom says that
you address their spiritualism with Love and Truth {knowing that He that is in
you is greater}, covering your home and children in prayer, not fearing the
enemy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are so very thankful for our community at The Common
Thread that encourages us from afar in this journey. They speak Truth into our
lives and set an example for unconditional love, self-sacrifice, and humility
with open doors and pouring out and dreaming big. When we tell them things like us taking in a hippie couple, their response is, “We’re going to pray with
you in this. Here is some of our experience in the past. Let us share with you
some wisdom we’ve learned over time. What are their names so we can pray
specifically? Keep us posted.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Doesn’t that sound a lot more like a body of Christ
followers, passionate for our neighbors, than, “Be careful!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I think about it and I wonder what type of impact we would
have as the Body if we truly died to our comforts and fears. Instead of seeing
people as souls to be saved, we saw them as individuals to love. Jesus will do
the saving. He promises He will in His time to those who believe. It’s just not
our job {By the way, that was a good call. We can’t even get the basics down,
much less save souls!}<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If our lives looked more like Love and Hope and less like
condemnation and judgment (like Jesus commands), we’d actually be really
surprised at the rich relationships we build and the incredible opportunities
He gives us to speak His name to people so different from us... and yet so, so
much like us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So let’s stop being “careful” and start loving people where
they are, how they are, just like Christ loved us. Let’s bring them in and let
them know that we are with them and Christ died for them and there is Hope and
Truth in this world. That we were once lost and broken, too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">And let’s all be thankful that God wasn’t “careful” about loving
us. </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-huvTDq2LL5Q/VpJcBmL0dUI/AAAAAAAAAxM/sWaKdwYpJDk/s1600/IMG_8701.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-huvTDq2LL5Q/VpJcBmL0dUI/AAAAAAAAAxM/sWaKdwYpJDk/s320/IMG_8701.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-73614674188303458202015-07-24T14:46:00.002-07:002015-07-24T14:54:06.436-07:00The Futility of Busyness {and the richness of waiting}<div class="MsoNormal">
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="color: #134f5c;">a reflection of three years living and loving overseas</span></i></div>
<br />
When I close my eyes and {try to} imagine Christ, for some reason I never
picture Him up and running around, busy. I picture a peaceful calm. Yet at the same
time I know He is constantly at work among us, through us, in us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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When I open my eyes, however, and see my life, so often all I see is busyness and rush. A hectic race of back and forth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing like my Father. </div>
<br />
If there is one thing God has taught me these last few years, it’s that He is not in a hurry.<br />
(And let’s be honest, that is tough news
to an American!)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have plans and dreams and schemes and hopes all laced
with goals and timelines and to-do lists to make those happen.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But God? He has all the time in eternity and He’s not afraid
to use it. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We pace the floor, glancing at the imaginary clock wondering
when all of these <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">things</b> will come
to pass. And all it does is create in us a dissatisfaction with where we are,
who we are, what we have. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All the while, God moves and breathes life, methodically and timely. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We huff and puff, missing the whole point of
it all—Him. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But that’s too simple, to walk towards Him in humble
submission. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We want results. Numbers. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I don’t suppose I’ve attended a single “church service” in
my life that didn’t put a varying degree of emphasis on a number. This many in
attendance, this many confessions, this many baptisms, this many new churches,
this many Bibles given, this many “souls saved”, this much money donated. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Numbers. Goals achieved. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so we say that, yes, these numbers represent souls and
lives changed. But ever so slowly {and mostly with no recognition at all} we fail
to realize that, while these do represent souls, those souls have quickly faded
from our focus. Because we are off to the next number goal. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Last year we had 100. This year we want to see 200.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Last year they gave $1,000. This year we want $10,000. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Numbers. Objectives. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But why do we care about "how many" and "how much"? Because time is short...
right? Some would say because Jesus is coming soon. Some would put up the counting
clock that shows how many souls are dying and going to hell this VERY moment
and what are we DOING if we aren’t counting “souls for the Kingdom”? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We’re living. That’s what we are doing. We are loving our
neighbor. We are confessing our sins to one another. We are praying for healing.
We are giving and serving. We are poured out and broken. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And yes we are even longing for that Day. But we are living
this day in all of its holiness, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And when we recognize that God is sovereign and His plans
cannot be thwarted, suddenly we don’t feel so glorified in our busyness.
Because it’s that same lie that the busier we are, the more productive we are
that leads us to neglect our children and our marriage and our neighbor in
pursuit of the goal. It leads us to shout judgment and rules rather than hope
and love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because when we are rushed, there is no time for love.
Because love takes time. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love is patient. Love is willing to endure rejection,
hatred, failure, backlash. Because love has all the time in the world. Love
never fails. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rush says we need to see repentance now. It’s now or never. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love says God is in control of the outcome. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rush says the bigger the crowd, the better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love says this one sufficient. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rush says goals must be met.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love says goals are good but not ultimate. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rush says there is no time to sit still, there is work to be
done. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love says we’ll stay as long as we need to. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So often we confuse waiting and stillness with laziness. But
we neglect to realize that it’s often busyness that creates laziness. For what
else do we want to do after a busy day but sit on a couch and let our “brains
rest” in front of the television? What is a better excuse for a little more time on social media that a
long day of working hard? We deserve it, right?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when we create a habit of waiting and watching, suddenly
our time is consumed with things that matter. More time with our Savior. More
time to pray for healing. More time to listen. More time to sit. More time to
hear. More time to see. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
More time to truly <i>feel</i> the groaning of the world around us
in need of a Savior. Our Savior.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
More time to taste and see that He is good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No longer do we need to shout from the rooftops our expansive
knowledge of spiritual things. Our lives speak loudly enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No longer do we need to organize and plan bigger and better
activities to win people over. Our lives are speaking Truth from which the Holy
Spirit will win people over. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we moved to the Jungle three years ago, we had plenty
of plans and goals. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Not one of them came to pass as we had thought. Not a single one. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But when we found ourselves at the end of so many dreams, we
found God was moving all around us the whole time. Turns out He didn’t <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">need</i> us after all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then we slowed down and we could hear it for once. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“Come.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it was scary at first because there wasn’t a plan laid
out in that one word. He didn’t say where or how or when or even what the
outcome would be. He just said, “Come.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So with feeble hands and weak knees, we stepped out of what
we thought was the way things had to be done and we decided to just trust His timing.
To take it one step, one day, on moment at a time. We would just live life with
these people and trust that He would do the rest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And oh what we have seen Him do! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>This doesn’t mean that it isn’t hard work. Again, waiting
doesn’t mean sitting idly by. We’ve worked harder and cried longer and wanted
to give up countless times these last three years. But there in the quiet we
still hear His voice whispering, “Come.” </b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His Spirit strengthens us again and we walk with the broken
and speak into their lives and show them a better way with all of our
insufficiencies and weaknesses in full light and at the end of the day all that
can be said is, “Wow. Look at what a <b>God</b> we serve. LOOK at what <b>He</b> is doing!” <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So three years into this thing, I’m {not so} sorry to report
that I don’t have any numbers for you... I haven’t been counting. But if you
want to sit for a while I can tell you some truly incredible things that God is
doing in and around us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
None of it was our plan. None of it fit into our schedules
and timelines. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But all of it—every last detail—fit perfectly into His.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KnwqSDc5DMM/VbE-OgZNW4I/AAAAAAAAAvI/pmV2vCb0qGc/s1600/IMG_3124.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KnwqSDc5DMM/VbE-OgZNW4I/AAAAAAAAAvI/pmV2vCb0qGc/s320/IMG_3124.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-48017209597161999472015-06-27T14:54:00.000-07:002015-06-28T13:12:53.995-07:00Life Off the Bandwagon<div class="MsoNormal">
As I watch from a distance the United States becoming a huge
mess, I have very conflicting emotions. On the one hand, I long for God to open
eyes so that we remain the Land of the Free and Home of the Brave. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But on the other hand, I simply wait and pray. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, it’s hard to see the Light when all
seems day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So instead I pray for God’s true Church to come down as the
darkness closes in. No more cheap grace and Gospel show. No more divide and
conquer. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Spirit is far from our pretty buildings and
well-coordinated programs and our endless checklists of do’s and don’ts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We hop from bandwagon to bandwagon as they pass by with
their Scripture-laden banners flying high, announcing what is right and wrong.
All the while our feet never even touch the ground. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because it’s messy down there with the lost and broken. And
we don’t even recognize that our bandwagon wheels are only making the mud
thicker. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Down there we will get dirty and our clothes will
get tattered. We will sweat and we will cry real tears. Our hands and feet will
get calloused.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But our hearts will grow softer. Our ears more in tuned to
listen. Our eyes focused to see. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Life off the bandwagon is lonely and exhausting because
pouring yourself out will require every ounce of you and more. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Loving unconditionally requires that we expect nothing in
return. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nothing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It means we get hurt. We may never see “results”. But we
keep loving. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And when the next bandwagon comes along (and come it will),
we will be tempted to hop on board for just a little rest. After all, many
times those banners wave truth. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But truth without love is useless. Our words without action
are meaningless. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we remember our own frailties and brokenness before His
grace came down. We remember we were dead—DEAD—in our sins until His life
breathed fresh into our lungs.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Only by His sweet, sweet Grace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So we stay in the mud and muck of this broken world and
whisper truths, not with our words but with our actions. We pray for eyes like
His. We pray for our lives to speak grace and mercy. We pray for hearts healed
and hope found. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We stop thinking it’s our job to save and condemn. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And it’s down here that we find we ourselves need to drink
deeply of the Living Water that sustains us in this barren place. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
How good that this Spring never dries up! And on the hottest
of days and the darkest of nights, we realize He is found right here with us. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is in that moment—our awareness of Him—we are no longer
afraid. We aren’t afraid to love with our whole being. We aren’t afraid of
what others will think or say when we walk with the broken—even those who have
yet to realize they have cracks and those who never come to the truth. We walk
beside them just the same.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are no longer afraid of not seeing the “results” we long
for. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We trust Him so. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We will go as far as we can to show that this Love is real.
No news will shake us. No words will break us. Because we will physically ache
for those who have yet to see the Light. So much so that the only place we want
to be is right in the midst of the hard and ugly. Right beside the lost and
lonely.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So here is the invitation to come down. It is too hard to
hear the cries from up there anyway. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Live among the dead. Put your heart into action. No more shouting
truths. Just living Love in humility and gratitude to the One who healed our
own wounds.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God promises to handle the rest.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mbaK3r4YxHY/VZBVJDmbNFI/AAAAAAAAAuk/jza0sHbvmFY/s1600/IMG_6797.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-mbaK3r4YxHY/VZBVJDmbNFI/AAAAAAAAAuk/jza0sHbvmFY/s320/IMG_6797.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This is not a call to
giving in, as some would assume. I pray you hear my words. This is a call to
action. We have, as a whole, confused the volume of our voice with the deeds of
our hands. So often we are passively passionate about so many things. This
manifests itself in the form of social media posts and podium outcries, making
clear where we stand on issues. But it neglects to create humility and a love
that is moved to action. May we be “quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to
anger” as James admonishes. May we realize that “perfect love drives out fear”
as John tells us. This is not only fear of the future, but fear of the
“what-if”. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Loving the broken
doesn’t mean selling out or even condoning sin. Quite the contrary. Jesus tells
us, “By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love
for one another.” <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Let’s love loud
because in so doing, we will speak volumes. <o:p></o:p></i></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-74851913152979868252015-02-20T13:07:00.001-08:002015-02-20T13:26:00.017-08:00Grace from His Fullness<div class="MsoNormal">
Sitting there in the corner of that little 500 square foot
house, I looked around the room at the little faces of the kids that had
gathered together that Saturday afternoon, almost thirty of them. It was hot
and cramped and little two-year-old Francisco was <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i> happy that his mom had brought him there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Taiwani sat next to Mariclene and my mind went back to when
they ran the streets together. They were like the dynamic duo, stealing fruit
from the trees in our back yard and throwing mud at the house when we said it
was time to go home. Now Mariclene has been part of our family for a year and a
half this month, and oh how she has transformed. But Taiwani still wakes up to
the same troubled house she lived in when we first met her two years ago. The
stories I know are horrific.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I see the others. This one being raised by her elderly grandmother
because her mom didn’t want her and her dad got remarried and his new wife
didn’t want her either. This one who will likely not make it to thirteen before
she has a baby of her own because all of her four sisters before her have
walked that same road. This one who is so selfish and overbearing because her
parents give her every last thing that she wants because it’s easier than
teaching a child. After all, no one ever taught them. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then there is little <a href="http://www.onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com.br/2015/01/pancakes-and-prayers.html" target="_blank">Chico</a> who stands outside the doors all
wide-eyed. He refuses to come in because he prefers to “run the streets”. He’s
five. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
There is Rafaela who has the sweetest little timid voice and
I swear she hasn’t grown an inch these last two years. Her dad is a drunk, but
her mama, who can’t read a single word and asks Rosa to count her money because
she doesn’t know the difference, works hard to provide for her and her brother
and sister, always smiling as she walks several miles to work and back. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so many others sitting there laughing and coloring and
listening and learning. I know pieces of their stories and this room feels so
much smaller. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I feel so much smaller. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s always made me a little uneasy when I have people tell
me that the ministry we do is “amazing” or “incredible” or “awesome”. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To me it feels heavy and not enough. I feel inadequate and
overwhelmed by the needs. I look around and I think, “We could never do enough
to change-really, really change--this town.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know how weak I am. I know my own faults. How many days I
just want to go away, back to the comforts and familiarities of my homeland.
Imperfect, unable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know Rosa’s family struggles. I see the personal battles
she faces and I watch as the “church” criticizes her every move as she seeks to
be faithful to the calling He put in her heart twenty years ago. Imperfect,
unable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know the financial needs. The funds are limited and I feel
like we aren’t doing enough but a dollar only stretches so far so we have
vitamins to supplement the physical lacking and prayer to increase awareness.
Imperfect, unable.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know the stories of these littles as they file in and out
on Saturdays. I know many of the houses they go back to and I wonder, “Does
this really even matter?” Imperfect, unable. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And then I hear it. When I step away from myself and all
this imperfect, it’s there. That still, small voice again that faithfully
reminds me:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
“I AM enough. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I AM sufficient.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I AM here.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I AM at work.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I AM the Creator of all things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I AM the Sustainer of all things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I AM amazing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This IS amazing. Because of Me.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
{Or, in the words of Francis Chan, “God says, ‘This is MY
party and I invited YOU!’”}<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And so I applaud this ministry and say at the top of my
voice that YES! this ministry we are a part of IS amazing. YES! the work we do
here IS amazing. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we are so very weak, but He is so very strong.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we can’t see past this difficulty or that obstacle,
but He holds the future. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because we are so far from perfect in our endeavors, but He
sees the intentions of the heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Because... Grace.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">“Indeed, we
have all received grace after grace<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">from
His fullness...”</span><o:p></o:p><br />
<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue"; font-size: 16.0pt; mso-bidi-font-family: "Helvetica Neue";">John 1.16</span></div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-45577828163109138822015-01-20T18:25:00.000-08:002015-01-20T18:25:27.967-08:00Pancakes and PrayersIt was one of those evenings that I nearly gave in to the temptation to skip story time and prayer time all together. <div>
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The day had been great mind you, but I was tired from the Amazon sun and was flying solo for the evening while Richard had stayed back in Benjamin to finish up some projects, so the sooner bed time came around, the better. </div>
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But I mustered up just a wee bit more energy and made the usual rounds.</div>
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I asked each of the kiddos what they were most thankful for today. RaeRae had her usual answer of "Eat pizza!!" (Regardless of whether we have actually eaten pizza, that is always what she is most thankful for.) Clene and Elliott followed suite with their usuals of playing and what-not. </div>
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Next question, "What's something you want to <i>ask</i> Jesus for?" </div>
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We have been focused on teaching thankfulness for over a year and only recently introduced the idea of asking Jesus for specific things. It has actually been really amazing to hear their child-like requests. You would think it would be full of wants and personal desires, but mostly it's just the opposite.</div>
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Elliott's eyes lit up.</div>
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"I know!" he said. "We could ask Jesus for an apple for Chico. He NEVER gets apples. He just eats Cheetos and candy ALL the time. {Insert sad face here} And you know what else? He NEVER gets pancakes."</div>
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"We could definitely ask Jesus to give Chico some healthy snacks, Buddyroo," I replied. "That's a great idea. Like maybe some apples and bananas?"</div>
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{Face lights back up} "Yeah! And we could make pancakes and... maybe put, like, three of them... put them in little bags and give them to him for breakfast!" </div>
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"Dantakes!!" (That was RaeRae's enthusiastic agreement.)</div>
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What can I say? My kids love pancakes.</div>
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My heart melted. </div>
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I think to fully understand, you'd have to know a little more about Chico (pronounced "She-koo"). </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UEEf5Hp4GaA/VL8D_IhIASI/AAAAAAAAAs8/DW50zODoxsI/s1600/20141223_103233%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-UEEf5Hp4GaA/VL8D_IhIASI/AAAAAAAAAs8/DW50zODoxsI/s1600/20141223_103233%2B-%2BVersion%2B2.jpg" height="266" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i>That little cutie in the middle there. The one in the brown shirt. That's Chico. </i></div>
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This picture was taken at the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/gracehouseamazon" target="_blank">Grace House</a> Christmas party. Most of the kids stayed for craft time and then went home for lunch. Not Chico and his sister though. They sort of just hung around awkwardly as we all fixed our plates. </div>
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We fixed them plates, too. We knew why they were hanging around. </div>
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The party carried on and we all went our separate ways later that day. It wasn't until a couple weeks later that Rosa told me that very early the next morning after the party, around 5:30 or so, she heard a knock at the door. She opened it to find Chico standing there all wild-eyed like he is. </div>
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"Is there another party today?" he asked.</div>
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"No, Chico. That was just for Christmas," Rosa responded.</div>
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"Oh. Ok...</div>
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<span style="font-size: large;">I just wanted to eat again," he said.</span></div>
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We saw Chico again today while we were at Grace House. He was chasing kites down the street. He had a sucker in his mouth, his lips bright pink and sticky. </div>
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My mind went back to that story. I knew that sucker was probably one of the only things his little taste buds would enjoy that day. </div>
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Like so many other kids in this small jungle town, Chico is actually not an orphan by definition. He has a mom and a dad and a house to sleep in. But he is a street kid. His days are spent running wild in the streets, eating 25cent bags of sugary puffs and sucking on 10cent suckers to appease the hunger pangs. His clothes are full of holes and he has fungal infections on his legs from rarely taking a bath. I've watched him cry because he is terrified of the stray dogs that roam the street, often aggressive. He is navigating this great big world all alone while his parents run a bar/poker ring. </div>
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And I've hugged him and looked in his eyes to see maybe one of the saddest things I've ever seen.</div>
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A blank stare. </div>
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So many of these kids lack the affection, love, attention, education, and nutrition that they need so their bodies are in a constant fight, flight, or freeze mode. Chico is one of the hundreds here. </div>
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I glance down the road at the older boys who I know are up to no good. I know about their stories, too. Some of them hit close to home. I look back at Chico and I know that, unless the Body of Christ intervenes, that's him in just a few short years. There is no choice really. What else is a street kid supposed to do? Grow up and be a productive member of a society where drunkeness and teen-pregnancy abound and no one teaches otherwise? </div>
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( At what age does the compassion for the little ones burn up, replaced by disgust for the "hooligan" teenagers? A question I struggle with myself. )</div>
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So here we are just taking things one step at a time with Grace House. Investing in these three that God has given Rosa to care for. Offering them love and nutrition and education and Jesus as best as we know how. Praying that God would provide the strength, capacity, finances to reach more. </div>
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And we know we can't reach them all. Chico will never live at Grace House though he is an orphan for all intents and purposes. </div>
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But maybe, just maybe, we can still invest in him. Maybe we can love him like Jesus did. Maybe we can offer him some nutrients. Maybe we can teach him about Jesus. </div>
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Maybe he can even eat pancakes.</div>
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I don't know what God has. </div>
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I <i>do</i> know that Mariclene cried big, real tears the other night thinking of her biological brother who still lives with her biological parents in a very bad situation. I <i>do</i> know Elliott has a heart for these kids who don't have a family like he does.</div>
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Will you pray? Pray for wisdom. Pray for vision. Pray for funding. Pray for faith. </div>
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Pray for these kids. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-83242561408557304032015-01-02T19:51:00.001-08:002015-01-02T19:51:21.725-08:00If It Were Me<div class="MsoNormal">
We drove by her in the taxi today. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Her </i>daughter was by <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">my</i>
side and I pulled her in closer to me, just in case she had spotted her, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I felt it in the pit of my stomach, rising up as it does
every time we cross paths. Even if she doesn’t see me, I see her and a wave of
emotion overcomes me as I think:<o:p></o:p></div>
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What if that were me?<o:p></o:p></div>
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I glance over at my blonde-haired loves and wonder what it
would be like to forget them. To know that they were out there somewhere, but
to not really care. I pull my brown-eyed beauty closer still.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And I remember. Grace. That is the only difference. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Because sometimes I am tempted to be angry with her, this
woman who gave birth to my daughter. I want to lash out even and say, “How
could you?! Don’t you see what you have done? What mother can do that??”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Especially after long days when the thoughts try to enter my
mind of how this woman abandoned this girl and now we are left piecing things
back together while she goes on merry her way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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But it’s not really like that at all. Not one bit.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Because not too long ago, she was also that broken little
girl. She was longing for love and a place to call home. I don’t know much
about her, but I imagine she didn’t plan this life this way. I imagine in the
beginning she didn’t plan to abandon her own flesh and blood, to leave them
begging in the streets. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But she did. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so will many others. Hopelessness.</div>
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And God knows I don’t have the answers to this cycle of hurt
people hurting people. It’s a vicious cycle and when you live in the midst of
it and you see the kids all around you that are just one short decade from
statistically becoming the abandoners instead of the abandonees, it’s
overwhelming. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Grace. It’s all there is. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And so we pray for this generation in this little Amazonian
town that maybe God would allow us to be a tiny speck of a part in showing them
what it can be like when the orphans have a true Father. When the abandonees
can grow up to be men and women who love, give, serve, forgive. <o:p></o:p></div>
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God gave us one that is now tightly knit in our family
forever. <o:p></o:p></div>
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For three others, He called us to start Grace House for them
to find Refuge. <o:p></o:p></div>
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This year, we are praying that we can do even more in this
little town to show God’s grace to these littles. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Will you join us? Will you commit to pray for <a href="https://www.facebook.com/gracehouseamazon">Grace House</a>
and the abandoned and abused of this Jungle town? <o:p></o:p></div>
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Let’s <b>be</b> the church and watch as Christ transforms a
generation that can impact generations to come. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-60552493245542189422014-11-17T11:25:00.000-08:002014-11-17T11:40:27.110-08:00Six Things Not to Say to an Adoptive Parent<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;">
I recently <a href="http://onthebeautifuljourney.blogspot.com.br/2014/11/the-ugly-side-of-adoption.html">posted a blog</a> that I have been working on for
some time. It took me a while to write it because I wanted to be sure it
accurately conveyed my heart but was honest about something that it seems is
lacking in the adoption community. I wrote it knowing that I was opening myself
up for criticism, but I felt like God was prompting me to post it so I held my
breath and hit “Post”.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 16.0pt;">And I’m so glad I did. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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Because turns out there are a lot of families out there
walking this path and when I posted it, it was like I came upon an oasis in
this desert land. A place where other families were drinking deep from the
Living Water who is our strength on this journey and for those without strength
to kneel down, they brought a cup to them and said, “Here. This will give you
hope”. Within a week I got dozens of e-mails of people sharing their stories of
struggle and hope and faith and joy and tears and questions about their
precious and dearly loved adopted children who are struggling for various
reasons. Some on the brink of giving up. Others who have been fighting this
battle much longer than me. Others with victories to share.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So many moms and dads commented and wrote me saying, “We are
together in this! God is faithful! Stay strong!” <b>Wow, what a blessing for the
Body of Christ to step up and without judgement say words of hope and healing.</b>
I was left crying and praising and praying many times throughout the week. So
humbling. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Libian SC Regular";">“Anxiety in a
man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.” Proverb 12.25<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></div>
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Aaaannnndddd I also got several not-so-nice comments, too.
Which is fine! God used those to help me see the full spectrum of this thing. So
many people DON’T understand the trails that the special needs of a child can
bring a family. Honestly, if I hadn’t experienced this trial myself, I would
probably be pretty critical and skeptical, too. <o:p></o:p></div>
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And it led me to this post. Here are six things that I can
say, at least for myself as an adoptive parent, that we don’t need to hear:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Not to Say:</b> “You need
parenting classes.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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This one was sort of random to me, but I thought I would
mention it because, let’s be honest, that’s rarely a nice to say to someone. I
know there are “parenting classes” out there and fantastic ministries that focus
on the challenges and joys of parenting. And don’t we all need tips and advice
on how to navigate these parenting waters?? The truth is it can be a doozy no
matter your child’s bloodline! I know I personally read blogs often about
parenting and they are many times convicting and enlightening, challenging and
encouraging as my husband and I strive to raise our kids to know and love the
Lord. Buuuuuut when someone is sharing a parenting trial and reaching out for
community, they likely know already that they don’t have all the answers. If
they did, they wouldn’t be posting, right? <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Better Thing To
Say:</b> “Here are some things that have worked for our family.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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If you genuinely feel that someone needs some help in their
parenting techniques or approaches, it would be more productive to offer up
what has worked for your family. Maybe it would work for theirs as well. Or,
maybe just recognize that they have weaknesses and need some encouraging words.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“There is one who speaks rashly, like a piercing sword; but the tongue
of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12.18<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Not to Say:</b> "You deserve it."<o:p></o:p></div>
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This was
probably the harshest of the negative comments. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There were a
few people with this remark actually (which really surprised me) but one in
particular stood out. Her words were actually, “Because you purchased a child from
overseas. You treated yourself to a thrill. You knew it was wrong, didn't give
a damn and did it anyways. It's kind of awesome to see selfish baby buyers
getting exactly what they deserve.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I assume the anonymous
commenter has had a poor experience with the international adoption system as
they made reference to people “buying” their children from overseas. She went
on to say she had three that she adopted from the US (for which I assume she
didn’t have to pay any money for the process). Perhaps they have had or have
heard of first hand experiences with some of the terribly corrupt practices in
the adoption system. I do not have personal experience, but I have heard
stories of people making profits off of the “business” of adoption and
even people taking healthy newborns from loving families to “sell” to adoption
organizations. This is so tragic that I don’t have words and I pray and have no
doubt that there are good people on the inside of the system who are fighting
hard for reform. It is a messed up world we live in, folks. <o:p></o:p></div>
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However, to tell an adoptive parent that they “deserve” the
trials that the special needs of a child brings because they paid various costs
in order to bring that child into their family is no more fair than to tell a
family who has a biological child with special needs that they “deserve” it.
Adoptive parents do not feel “entitled” to a child. Every loving parent desires
for their child to grow up healthy, strong, and well adjusted regardless of
their bloodline and when that doesn’t happen for one reason or another it is
HARD. It is hard to watch your child suffer and to not understand how to
communicate in the right way with that child. Reactive Attachment Disorder,
Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Anxiety Disorders, etc. are very real and can wreak
havoc on the lives of those who have it and their families. Support is needed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Better Thing to
Say:</b> “I don’t understand your pain, but I will commit to pray for you and
your family.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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I would never presume to know the depths of pain that
families who have children with terminal illnesses face. I have never
personally experienced that. But I can have compassion and pray for God’s hope
and healing, peace and strength. In the same way, if you have never experienced
life with a child who has special emotional or psychological needs, you won’t
be able to understand all the dynamics. So, hold your judgement and pray. God
does know and understand and He can bring hope and healing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Now finally, all of you should be like-minded and sympathetic, should
love believers, and be compassionate and humble.” 1 Peter 3.8<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Not to Say:</b>
“You shouldn’t point out all the negative things about adoption. There are so
many kids out there that need families and you are going to scare people out of
adopting!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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That would be like saying, “Don’t tell people that marriage
can be challenging! You will scare people out of getting married!” Let’s just
shoot straight here. You could talk to a couple that is in love all day long
about the difficulties that marriage can bring and they are going to smile and
nod right through your conversation and on their way to pick out wedding cakes.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If someone feels called to adopt, they are no less going to
allow the knowledge of potential challenges deter them than they are the
mountains of paperwork and years of waiting. What actually more likely to
happen is that they will be better prepared for the trials that may (or may
not!) come there way. I wish someone would have told me!! Granted, I’m glad I
didn’t know the DETAILS, but no one knows those but God anyway. It would have
just been nice to know that it’s not all unicorns and rainbows like the
pictures and stories make you think. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We have books about marriage and conferences about marriage
and blogs about marriage because it can be complicated. It shouldn’t be far
fetched to have the same type of encouragement and support for struggling
adoptive parents.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Better Thing to
Say:</b> “Thanks for balancing out the realities of adoption. It can certainly
be overwhelming and challenging. Praise God that He is bigger than all of our
trials, though!”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Amen and amen!! He IS so much bigger! That is the hope we
have and some days that’s the only thing that keeps us going. It’s good to be
reminded of it often. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Bright eyes cheer the heart; good news strengthens the bones.”
Proverbs 15.30<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Not to Say:</b> “You
just need to learn what unconditional love is.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whew, YES! Don’t we all?? I will be the first to admit that
1 Corinthians 13 is a challenge for me. “Love is patient.” Failed at that one
today when my son spilled another glass of water. “Love is kind.” Yep, another
mess up when the day was ending and my kids were stretching my last ounce of
patience. “Love does not act improperly.” Yikes. We won’t even go there. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unconditional love is a tough one, y’all. We are human after
all. But that is exactly what we are striving for, right? To love the Lord our
God with all our hearts and to love our Neighbor (husband, children, friends,
family) as ourselves. Love, love, love. It’s all about love! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So simple yet so… hard. We are selfish by nature. But as
Christ followers, it is in us to desire to love. And therefore we long to love
our special needs adopted children unconditionally. The struggle comes
when—surprise!—that love is rejected over and over. But as I walk this journey,
I am learning more and more about how truly amazing and miraculous it is that
the God of the UNIVERSE would love me—an awful, terrible sinner—so much that He
gave His Son to die in my place and that even now—now that I know who He is and
His great love—He loves me when I reject Him and ignore Him. WOW! He is THE
perfect example of how we are to love the unloveable. So, YES! We do need to
learn what unconditional love is. We ALL do!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Better Thing to
Say: </b>“We are all unloveable at times. Keep fighting the good fight and
remember God’s unconditional love for us. I pray your child one day sees
Christ’s love through you.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whew. When I hear those words it is both a great reminder
and like a healing balm to my soul! Yes, I am so unloveable, but God loves me!
Because of that I can show that same love to my child and trust that God will
open her eyes to the beauty that it is. Amazing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><i>"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4.19</i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>What Not to Say:</b> “You
should have adopted for the right reasons.”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Honestly, I don’t really know what the “wrong” reasons to
adopt are, but I’m assuming it would be to impress people? To take cute family
photos? To have a little variety in your family’s skin color? I don’t know. If
any of those were the reason you adopted then, yes, you definitely should have
adopted for the right reasons! But I don’t know a single adoptive family that
didn’t adopt out of genuine love for the Lord and for their child. (Not saying
they aren’t out there, just that I don’t personally know them.) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To tell this to a parent who is struggling with the reality
of their adopted child’s special needs would be like telling a parent
struggling with the reality of their biological child’s special needs that they
should have gotten pregnant for the right reasons. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What?? <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will say again, no parent wants to see their child suffer.
No parent wants to struggle every day to connect and watch their child reject
love. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We often hear on the one hand that adoptive parents are
expected to love their adopted children in the same way they love their
biological children (and they should!) but when it comes to admitting to
difficulties adopted children sometimes face, it’s taboo, though often not so
with biological children. It’s a little unbalanced, I’d say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Better Thing to
Say: </b>Probably nothing at all. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Instead, maybe research some of the very real emotional and
psychological issues that adopted children (and in turn adoptive families)
face. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Things like <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reactive_attachment_disorder">Reactive Attachment Disorder</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Posttraumatic_stress_disorder">Post TraumaticStress Disorder</a> which are both very common in adopted children. By doing a
little research, you may be able to better understand and gain compassion for
these children and families. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Pure and undefiled religion before our God and Father is this: to look
after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself unstained by the
world.” James 1.27<o:p></o:p></i></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What Not to Say:</b>
“You are just self-righteous/entitled/egocentric.”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have a friend who has a biological child who has classic
RAD symptoms. Let’s pretend for a moment that she wrote this same exact blog
about her daughter that she carried in her womb for 9 months, gave birth to,
and raised from day one yet has shared with me many of the emotional trials
this child has brought. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Would you say that she has a feeling of entitlement because
she longs to relate to and understand her daughter and love her effectively and
grieves that she can’t? Would you say she was self-righteous because she
recognizes the internal battle that her daughter faces with building walls to
protect herself emotionally, knowing all the while as her mom that she doesn’t
need to? Would you consider it egocentric that she wishes differently for her
family?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My guess is probably not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So I offer up the idea that neither is it for an adoptive parent. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A Better Thing to
Say: </b>Gonna go with “Nothing at all” on this one, too.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
If you genuinely feel that way in your heart, you miiiiiight
want to examine and see if perhaps you aren’t the one with a self-righteousness
issue. We all have battles. We all have sin that we fight daily. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Don’t judge someone else because their struggle looks
different from your own. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; text-justify: inter-ideograph;">
<i><b>“The one without sin among you should be the first to
throw a stone at her.” </b></i><i><b>–Jesus</b></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Bottom Line:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>“And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of
unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our bodies; it pollutes the whole
body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell…. It is a
restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and
with it we curse men who are made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come
blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things should not be this way.” James
3.6, 7b-10</i><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Easy killer. Reel it in. If we truly call ourselves Christ
followers, then we are to “carry one another’s burdens” (Galatians 6.2) and to
“[speak] to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and
making music to the Lord in your heart”. It’s hard to do those things when we
are tearing one another down and lacking compassion. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s easy to post an anonymous, hateful post (which all but
one of these were anonymous) and then carry on with your day feeling justified
in your remarks. But it’s also easy to forget that there are real life people
on the other side of the screen. I highly doubt you would speak face to face
that way with someone (at least I hope not, wow!) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To everyone who shared your stories and wrote words full of
life and encouragement, thank you!! We are in this together and it is so much
sweeter when the Body of Christ rallies around to carry the load.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
(PS Congratulations if you made it to the end of this very
long post! Feel free to comment. If you disagree with any part of what I said,
I’d love to hear from you as long as it is written respectfully with the intent
to understand one another. All hateful comments will be deleted because, well... ain’t nobody got time for dat.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-24743405450665846982014-11-12T17:32:00.001-08:002014-11-12T17:32:15.472-08:00Thankful Thursday: Unexpected Community<div class="MsoNormal">
<i>(This Thankful Thursday post is a little early, but I gotta post when I have internet!)</i></div>
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I’ve cried a lot over the last few days. And I’m not a
crier, y’all. <o:p></o:p></div>
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It all started on Monday when I felt led to finally post
something about our adoption and the struggle it has been. I read it and
re-read it. I hesitated. I prayed about it. And I did it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I had no idea what the result would be but I braced myself
for criticism. My words were transparent, hard, and that’s not always well
received. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Instead, I got an immense outpouring of love and
understanding. I literally couldn’t keep up with my inbox for the e-mails and
comments on my blog. I’ve never experienced anything like that before and it
made me cry to think that there is a whole big community out there of people
who are walking this same road, fighting hard for these kiddos that we love so
much but feel overwhelmed with the day to day battles. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: black; mso-themecolor: text1;"><span style="font-size: large;">To all who read and heard and
understood and spoke words of hope and healing or who shared your story and
your struggle, you blessed me immensely. You thanked me, but I thank YOU! </span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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To the few who read and didn’t get it but felt led to
comment anyway, I hear you, too. I didn’t get it either. I still don’t most
days. But God is faithful!<o:p></o:p></div>
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To the adoptees who spoke out, thank you. Your words are necessary to this story. You are our heart in this, after all. If my words hurt, I am sorry. The reality is I was not adopted as a child so I do not understand your perspective, but oh how I want to! I want to hear from you. I want to learn from you. Please be patient with us as we learn and we will strive to do the same.</div>
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To the one who suggested that saying to stop romanticizing
adoption would be like saying to stop romanticizing marriage, I hear what you
say. But what I’m trying say is that marriage is beautiful, but we still have
marriage conferences and blogs and books about the difficulties it can and
often does bring. Let’s do the same for us adoptive families who are struggling
in this fight to help our kids see and feel this love we have. If you want to
defend the kids (and praise God you do!), reinforce the parents. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Admitting that marriage can be hard and
addressing those issues does not keep others from getting married and I know
that those who are called to adopt will no more let this hinder them than the
mountains of paperwork and years of waiting. It will just help them be better
prepared for the potential challenges ahead.<o:p></o:p></div>
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To the one who said they are “worried” about me, thank you
for your concern. I’ve worried about me, too! But God is good and His grace is
sufficient. Thank you for offering the resource suggestions. I will definitely
look into those! I’m always open to suggestions and learning and growing on
this journey that all too often seems like too much. I don’t have all the
answers, I just have the one: Jesus. And oh how good He is!! <o:p></o:p></div>
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To the one who said I sounded self-righteous, oh how God
knows that is not true. The times are innumerable that I have cried out to God
and told Him he picked the wrong person for this job because I am so broken
myself. I am filthy rags outside of the grace of God and I need His new mercy
every morning. Please choose your words carefully, friend. I appreciate that
you are knowledgeable but I pray our knowledge will never cloud our words of
love and compassion. Knowledge without love is useless (1 Corinthians 13.2).
Yes, this journey has been incredibly lonely (we live in the Amazon Jungle!) but
God is ever present and meets our every need. That’s the beauty of grace that
He can use sinners like my husband and myself to speak truth into the life of
this precious child of ours. This was me reaching out for the community that
you suggest and God in all His great goodness has provided it.</div>
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To the one who referenced their adopted child as
“store-bought”, I respectfully had to delete your comment. It was offensive to
several adoptees who were reading the comments and that is the last thing we
want. <o:p></o:p></div>
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To the commenter who referenced me as “original poster” and
said I made a mistake talking about the hard, hi, my name is Ashley and I am your sister in Christ. Let’s choose our words carefully and remember that just because we
can’t see each other’s faces, there are real people on the other side of that
screen. I actually had to re-read my post because I thought maybe I had missed
something in there because your words were so intense. We live six houses away
from the house where my daughter suffered all kinds of abuse and we see her
biological parents and her abusers on a regular basis. I feel your hurt for your oldest who
still remembers her mother, friend, and I understand. We’re in this together so let’s build one
another up. We’re on the same team. <o:p></o:p></div>
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If you commented, I want you to know I prayed for you. Each
and every one. I went name by name, even those who were anonymous (that were
many) and I prayed specifically for you. That’s all I know to do at this point. Maybe God is up to something much bigger?<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>To all who e-mailed, I will respond!! The internet here is
hit or miss, so it may take some time. Thank you for sharing your stories. They
have given me a breath of fresh air on this journey and I am forever grateful! </b><o:p></o:p></div>
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God is so good. I feel like I’ve just come upon an oasis in
this desert and now I’m surrounded by other families drinking in deep from the
Living Water. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>This journey just got a little more beautiful.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><br /></b></div>
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