From the Archives: God's Love Language

It's been interesting as we've traveled around the Southeast,  meeting people from every walk of life. Having been raised in a very conservative church my whole life, it was like culture shock for me when we stepped into our first Southern Baptist Church a couple of years ago. I wasn't accustomed to seeing blue jeans on the Pastor and a whole band on the platform, drums and all. It took me off guard when the Pastor opened his ESV to begin teaching the Word and we didn't sing the traditional hymns that I had heard all my life.

And the truth is, I loved it!

For me, it was like a breath of fresh air. Everyone seemed so at ease and connected. There was a certain passion in the room and an excitement about the Word. I loved the music and for what seemed like the first time I actually felt connected in worship. I felt at home and I was at least 600 miles from mine.

So what did this mean for me?

I have found myself with a lot of conflicting emotions over the last couple of years as I've met so many people that have enhanced my relationship with Christ. I've read books and heard sermons that have changed my worldview, broadened my mind, and opened my eyes to the fact that we serve a big... make that HUGE... God who doesn't fit inside the box that we've tried to fit him in.

In all of our travels I feel like my soul has been awakened, as cheesy as that may sound.

But what were the implications of this? Was the church that I was raised in not doing things right? Did the fact that they were hard-core KJV only, singing hymns from 1930, and it was suit and tie and dresses to church every service mean that they had somehow missed the mark? Or did the fact that I didn't feel connected with that atmosphere somehow imply that my heart was wrong for liking the contemporary worship songs and preferring pants over a skirt?

Fast forward to a month ago as we sit in the middle of the Jungle at an Indigenous church. The Pastor is speaking in two languages as he preaches from the front of a grass-roof hut. The people are all sitting on benches and the floor, though concrete, is covered in dirt. Women are breastfeeding with no regard for who is nearby and chickens and children are running all over the place. The music service is in the tribal language and the song leader and several women in the crowd are dancing.

I won't say this was culture shock for me, because a part of me felt right at home. But it was all new to me. Where I come from, dancing is off-limits and children are seen and not heard. If a woman needs to nurse, there is a special room designated for that and chickens are only seen on our plates after we go out for Sunday lunch.

Was this church getting it wrong too? After all, the pastor wasn't wearing a tie and he preached for an hour and a half straight... didn't he know that lunchtime is at noon? And was that the KJV version of their tribal Bible translation.........

So who was getting this right? Who was really glorifying God? Whose heart was really in the right place??

I think the answer is all of them. God was being and is being glorified in ways that we don't understand and it's all around us all the time.

God's love language is diversity.

He created the Indians in the Jungle who dance while they sing to the Almighty God. He created the 20-year-old who has a talent playing the drums and uses it to glorify his Savior. He created the 80-year-old man who wears his suit and tie in reverence to the creator of the Universe. He created the Pastor who wears jeans and the new mom nursing her infant and the mom who doesn't even own a pair of pants and young woman who hates skirts and the teenager who wears straight-legged jeans and dyes her hair pink and the little Indian who runs around naked and the man who sits in the back row because he's uncomfortable in social situations and the shut-in who faithfully listens over the airways and the music director who raises his hands in praise and the Indian lady who dances her traditional tribal dances and chants her tribal songs and the ex-drug addict who sits in the front row to soak in the Word that changed his life and the young married couple who got tattoos to commemorate the day that their lives were transformed by Christ and the missionary couple who gave up every earthly possession to follow Him and the business man who uses his wealth to further the Gospel and the stay at home mom who raises godly children and the Indian who fishes for his food every day and wears monkey teeth around his wrist and the elderly lady who weeps as she sings the hymns that have carried her through so many trials and.............................................

And the list goes on. And who are we to say that we have found God's true love language? Who are we to say that this worship music is right and this kind is wrong? And who are we to say that you have to dress this way or that?

Who are we?

I'm thankful to serve a God who not only loves diversity, He created it.

May we not be so closed-minded to think otherwise.



"...For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7


"...and with your blood you purchased men for God from every tribe and language and people and nation. You have made them to be a kingdom and priests to serve our God, and they will reign on the earth." Revelation 5:9-10

Stupid Elbow

Sometimes, I don't want to be called a Christian.

Yep. You read that correctly.

But the reason I don't want to be called a Christian is not because I don't want to be associated with Christ. As a matter of fact, it's the exact opposite: I DO want to be associated with Christ.

Unfortunately, Christians have done a great job of turning people away from Christ. And by Christians I mean all of us who claim that title. Me included.

I work for a ministry and the other day I was surprised by a phone call I received. We'll keep the real names anonymous, but it went a little something like this:

Me: Hi, Fred. How can I help you?
Fred:  Hey, I was just wondering about the softball trip that you guys have coming up to the Dominican Republic. I was asked to help recruit for it but I wanted to see if Sarah was going. You know the lady from that other ministry.
Me: Um, let me check. *Checks to see if Sarah or anyone from her ministry is signed up* Nope, doesn't look like I have any of them signed up yet.
Fred: Ok, good. I just wanted to be sure. I don't want to go or recruit anyone to go if she or anyone from her ministry is going.
Me: *Pauses for a moment to let it process in my mind what he just said.* Ok, so if she is going, you're not going. But if she's not going, you are going? I just want to make sure I have that right.
Fred: Well, um, yeah, I mean, I just have worked with her before and I just, well, Bill knows why. He understands where I'm coming from. I just, I know what they are like and well.... I'll just talk to Bill about it.
Me: Hm. Oh. Okay.

Yeah. That happened. Someone does not want to go on a mission trip to show Christ's love if someone else is going. And I happen to know that this "someone else" is a lady who runs a really phenomenal ministry to reach softball girls for Christ. She's not perfect, but neither is Fred.

We are told in Romans that we are one body in Christ.

"For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Romans 12.4-5 

So how are we supposed to function as one unit if we can't get along?

What if our legs didn't want to go somewhere because they weren't especially fond of how our hands dressed us? Or what if our forearms refused to move because all the elbow ever does is bump into things?

Stupid elbow.

That seems ridiculous, but that's exactly how we act as Christians sometimes. We don't like how someone else does ministry so we criticize [behind their backs of course]. We don't agree with the standards of a particular group of Christians, so we avoid them all together.

Stupid other Christians.

Obviously this is a problem that goes back to the very first Christians, because even Paul had to give a reminder to the Ephesians:

"I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." Ephesians 4.1-3

Think of all that the human body accomplishes when it works together: walking, talking, running, laughing, digesting, smelling, thinking, listening, touching, typing, seeing, holding, crying, writing, reading, healing, sitting, breathing, and the list goes on and on.

The amount of "teamwork" that goes into the processes that make the body function is remarkable.

It's no coincidence that God gives us the analogy of the church as a body, too. Works the exact same way... if we let it.

I admit, it takes a conscious effort sometimes. It would be great if we could function as effortlessly as our lungs do when it comes to breathing or our heart when it comes to pumping blood. But that's just not the case most of the time.

So what can we do?

Well, I guess the answer is pretty obvious: keep our eyes on Christ. It's when we start looking around us and comparing ourselves with others that the bickering and disunity ignites in our hearts. We begin to become critical of others and thereby seeing ourselves as somehow worthy of Christ's love. When our eyes are focused on our Savior, though, it's impossible to see the imperfections in those around us because we are keenly aware of our own imperfections before a holy God and we are willing to not only allow His grace to be sufficient for us, but also everyone we come in contact with.

Richard and I are working to memorize the book of James. It's chocked full of how to deal with these very issues. Because even we missionaries struggle with it. I know. You're shocked.

I challenge you to memorize James, too. It's a big undertaking, but oh so very worth it if it means we can become unified as the body of Christ.

That's what the world needs to see in us.

Will you take the challenge?