A sweet friend of mine and I were sitting by the sandbox watching our boys throw sand at one another this morning, talking about life and kids and so on.
She asked me, "So, how are you feeling about everything--your international move and all that is going on?"
With a sigh I replied, "I'm so ready to just be there."
I think I've reached a point where I'm so burdened by the need of the region that we are going to and I feel so out of place here in the States that I just want to go. I want to be in the heat and humidity. I want to eat beans and rice and fish. I want to settle down a bit and let Elliott make friends with the little Indian kids. I want to be far, far away from some of the silliness of this life here, all the things that Satan would try to use to distract us from what really matters--the glory of God among the nations.
But God says, "Not yet."
And He says that for a reason. He says it for a reason I don't fully understand, but I trust Him.
I trust Him because I can look back over the last three years of our life and see how He's shaped us and grown us. How He's taught us and molded us just a little more into His image.
And we still have a long way to go.
Every day we pray for wisdom and humility. For strength and perseverance. To be just a little more like Him.
So, He hears our prayer and compassionately says "Not yet" as He molds us and makes us into the image of His Son.
And it's tiring but worth it because I know one day soon we will be in the Jungle.
And we'll be tired there too... but it'll be worth it.