When Living the Dream Feels More Like a Nightmare

“These are our ‘good ole’ days’, you know?” I said to him as we precariously swerved through the potholes of the washing-away-street, us and our three kiddos all crammed up on our motorcycle going home after a dinner out because neither of us could decide who was less tired enough to cook.

One day, these are the days we will look back on, smile and say, “Remember when…”

But today, that’s hard to see.

A friend asked me the other day if we were exhausted. I kind of laughed a little because that word just doesn’t seem to cut it. Exhausted is how you feel after a long day… but what word is there for how you feel after a long year?

We hear a lot of things:

“You guys are heroes!”

“How I wish I had a calling so great!”

“I would love to do what you do!”

“You are so inspirational!”

I equate that with how we feel reading the Bible sometimes. The stories are inspirational, empowering. We read them with excitement because we can see the whole story and know that, in the end, there is this triumphant victory.

And because we’re on the outside looking in.

But how did Moses feel looking out over the Red Sea as the Egyptians approached and everyone was calling out to him to DO something?

How did Daniel feel when he went free-falling into the lions’ den, his enemies snickering as he fell?

How did Noah feel on day 2 of the rain, hearing the screams of everyone around him drowning?

How did Joseph feel when he was imprisoned for doing everything right?

That’s where we are in this inspirational story.

We’re in the part where we know we’re doing what God has said to do, but it sure as heck doesn’t look like we thought it would.

We’re in the middle of the desert, thirsting ourselves, but everyone is calling to us for water.

So, like Moses, sometimes we call out to God in anger, “What are you doing?!”

And like Moses, we hit the rock to bring forth the water, instead of speaking like God commanded us to.

There are times we doubt like Sarai and ask for a sign like Gideon.

We were scheduled to go back to the States on furlough in just four weeks. We’ve planned it since January. And, oh, were we ever excited to get a breather.

But God said, “Not now.”

So, we wait.

Not always patiently and not always with a good attitude, but we wait.

And we cling to His promise that:

“Those who WAIT upon the Lord will renew their strength; they will mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint.”

-Isaiah 40.31

Now, like so many times before, we ask you to pray for us. Pray for endurance, patience, faith, peace, rest, strength.

A great friend recently wrote us:

“Jesus gives rest to those he loves and His burden is easy and His yoke is light.  I know, I know, try telling that to Moses when he's looking at the Red Sea, or Joseph as he's being hauled out of the well, but if it wasn't for the Red Sea, there would be no miraculous parting, and if it wasn't for the well, there would be no miraculous deliverance.”

Pray that we will endure as God carries out His plan, set out from before time began.

In the end, He gets the victory regardless. Pray we will be found faithful.

And feel free to send all the encouraging e-mails and messages that you can ;)