Richard had the privilege to speak at CenterPointe Church in Chula Vista, CA this past Sunday (8/21/11).
Here's the podcast if you're interested! (Click sermon from 8/21)
http://www.smcchurch.com/index.cfm?page=24
Please pray for CenterPointe as they work to reach the community of Chula Vista for Christ!
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Overwhelmed.
Sometimes, when we're sharing about the ministry that God has called us to, I get overwhelmed. Like, really, really overwhelmed.
I get overwhelmed when people say we're amazing, because we're not at all, God is.
I get overwhelmed when people say they want to give to the ministry, because we're being entrusted with so much.
I get overwhelemd when a church decides to be a part of the work, because we've been given so much responsibility.
I get overwhelmed when I look at our support account and see that ever since we took that step of faith to live off support, God has provided above and beyond so that we can give to others above and beyond, because you just can't outgive God.
I get overwhelmed when we share the stories of how God has brought us here and provided every step of the way, because He is so good and we are so unworthy.
But most of all, I get overwhelmed that the God of the Universe loves us so much that He would count us worthy of the call for the sake of His glory.
That is overwhelming.
And I ask God--no, I beg God--to keep us humble and to keep our eyes on Him. I see the effects of pride on ministry and it must break God's heart to see us take credit for something that is in no way ours to take credit for, because it breaks mine. May we never be found guilty of stealing from God in that way.
Only His is worthy.
Then I get overwhelmed because it's truly all I desire--to serve God where He's called us. I want nothing more than to be next to the ladies, doing laundry in the river while Elliott plays with the kids, and Richard disciples the men. I long for the day when I wake up and it's hot and humid and we get to host the locals in our home and I make them coffee and we just pour out the love of Christ on them. I yearn for the day when I can wrap the wounds of a small child and tell her it's going to be ok as we load her into the helicopter.
And I get overwhelmed because only God can create a desire like that.
Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed.
I get overwhelmed when people say we're amazing, because we're not at all, God is.
I get overwhelmed when people say they want to give to the ministry, because we're being entrusted with so much.
I get overwhelemd when a church decides to be a part of the work, because we've been given so much responsibility.
I get overwhelmed when I look at our support account and see that ever since we took that step of faith to live off support, God has provided above and beyond so that we can give to others above and beyond, because you just can't outgive God.
I get overwhelmed when we share the stories of how God has brought us here and provided every step of the way, because He is so good and we are so unworthy.
But most of all, I get overwhelmed that the God of the Universe loves us so much that He would count us worthy of the call for the sake of His glory.
That is overwhelming.
And I ask God--no, I beg God--to keep us humble and to keep our eyes on Him. I see the effects of pride on ministry and it must break God's heart to see us take credit for something that is in no way ours to take credit for, because it breaks mine. May we never be found guilty of stealing from God in that way.
Only His is worthy.
Then I get overwhelmed because it's truly all I desire--to serve God where He's called us. I want nothing more than to be next to the ladies, doing laundry in the river while Elliott plays with the kids, and Richard disciples the men. I long for the day when I wake up and it's hot and humid and we get to host the locals in our home and I make them coffee and we just pour out the love of Christ on them. I yearn for the day when I can wrap the wounds of a small child and tell her it's going to be ok as we load her into the helicopter.
And I get overwhelmed because only God can create a desire like that.
Sometimes, I just get overwhelmed.
Friday, August 12, 2011
That Was Kinda Nice
The other day, I was reading this really great (random) book that I found called How Do You Tuck In a Superhero? The author, Rachel Balducci, is the mom of 5 boys (and one girl now) and tells story after story of life with boys.
When I was done with the book (which I finished in just 2 days), I found myself teary-eyed and praying.
That's when it happened. I asked God for something in faith and I realized that I just don't do that very often. Usually, my prayers are pitiful little cries to "please do this" or "please don't do that". But this time was different.
This time, I straight up asked God to give me something. And it felt good to do it. That's when it hit me: that's how God wants us to pray. He wants us to trust Him and love Him enough to shoot straight with Him. And what's even more, He wants us to ask Him for the desires of our heart because if we're seeking Him, those desires will be from Him and it will please Him to answer them. (Got that?)
So I asked God for this: to give me the joy and the privilege to raise our family in the Jung|e. Where it's "dangerous" and "unpredictable". Where it's hot and tiring and lonely at times. Where we'll be learning new languages our home will be open to whomever, whenever. Where we'll no doubt have sickness and injuries. But where our joy will be full and our lives will be spent healing and teaching and serving.
And suddenly that's all I wanted and I found myself in tears asking God to find me worthy of such a great calling as to raise Elliott and whatever other children He may bless us with in the Jung|e so that they could grow up to see that we serve a BIG God who loves the |ndians just as much as us.
I sing a song with Elliott, you probably know it, called "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands".
I adapt the verses to say different things and one is: He's Got the Indians in the Jungle in His Hands.
My earnest prayer is that God will equip Richard and myself with the humility and servant hearts that are necessary to raise our children to know that we are all equal in God's eyes.... and that's a beautiful thing.
.
When I was done with the book (which I finished in just 2 days), I found myself teary-eyed and praying.
That's when it happened. I asked God for something in faith and I realized that I just don't do that very often. Usually, my prayers are pitiful little cries to "please do this" or "please don't do that". But this time was different.
This time, I straight up asked God to give me something. And it felt good to do it. That's when it hit me: that's how God wants us to pray. He wants us to trust Him and love Him enough to shoot straight with Him. And what's even more, He wants us to ask Him for the desires of our heart because if we're seeking Him, those desires will be from Him and it will please Him to answer them. (Got that?)
So I asked God for this: to give me the joy and the privilege to raise our family in the Jung|e. Where it's "dangerous" and "unpredictable". Where it's hot and tiring and lonely at times. Where we'll be learning new languages our home will be open to whomever, whenever. Where we'll no doubt have sickness and injuries. But where our joy will be full and our lives will be spent healing and teaching and serving.
And suddenly that's all I wanted and I found myself in tears asking God to find me worthy of such a great calling as to raise Elliott and whatever other children He may bless us with in the Jung|e so that they could grow up to see that we serve a BIG God who loves the |ndians just as much as us.
I sing a song with Elliott, you probably know it, called "He's Got the Whole World In His Hands".
I adapt the verses to say different things and one is: He's Got the Indians in the Jungle in His Hands.
My earnest prayer is that God will equip Richard and myself with the humility and servant hearts that are necessary to raise our children to know that we are all equal in God's eyes.... and that's a beautiful thing.
.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Thankful Thursday: Friends
Today, I am thankful for the amazing friends that God has put in my life. I am truly, truly blessed.
Elliott and I drove (ok, I drove, but Elliott was with me) up to Elkhart, IN and spent the past week with three of my best girl friends. (Richard is in the Dominican Republic so it was the perfect opportunity and possibly the last before we move to the field full-time.) I met them all through my time at Word of Life Argentina (05'-06') which just further proves that that year of my life was one of the most growing and shaping times and I am forever grateful that God allowed Richard and I to spend that year abroad learning more about
Him and meeting so many great people.
Here are some photos of our time in Elkhart :)
Elliott and I drove (ok, I drove, but Elliott was with me) up to Elkhart, IN and spent the past week with three of my best girl friends. (Richard is in the Dominican Republic so it was the perfect opportunity and possibly the last before we move to the field full-time.) I met them all through my time at Word of Life Argentina (05'-06') which just further proves that that year of my life was one of the most growing and shaping times and I am forever grateful that God allowed Richard and I to spend that year abroad learning more about
Him and meeting so many great people.
Here are some photos of our time in Elkhart :)
Steph and I went to this great little ice cream shop. It was delicious... can you see the excitement on our faces? :)
Rachel, Cambri, me, and Elliott
Elliott was super sweet with little Cambri....
...but not so much with Abigail! We have a long way to go with the sharing principle......
Me and Jenna at the beach in Michigan
This boy loves the beach and was covered from head to toe with sand by the time we left!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Why I am leaving Christianity.
Today, I have decided to do something I wish I would have done a long time ago. I would not have wasted many years and countless dollars in my life had I done so. Maybe I would have made a true difference in the world rather than feeling like I was doing something good with my life....I could "maybe" all night long but I can't change the past. I can, however, make a decision that will make a difference - I am leaving Christianity. Yup, that's right. A missionary just said that he is leaving the very thing we claim to share.....but that's why I'm doing it. I'm leaving Christianity for something much much better. Let me re-phrase that, someONE much better- Christ.
Ashley and I have been on a journey trying to figure it all out for a while now. We have read a lot of books but one book and one Author have made this decision for me. Christ never called us to Christianity - he called us to a life devoted solely to him....not a following.
I have had the opportunity to lead a lot of mission trips and visit a lot of churches. In this time I have been able to witness a lot of Christianity but I see very little of Christ. I see and have been a part of giving the "ABC's" of salvation but other than from Christ and few other books I don't hear anything about following him. How can we take part of what he says and deny the rest? I am guilty of it, horribly guilty of it. Now, I want no more of it.
I want one thing in life - Christ. I don't want the theology, buildings, programs, speeches, week-long experiences, or counterfeit conversions for the number book. I want Christ and I want him to have all of me. I don't want money - I want Him to take all of it. I want to desire wisdom, a glimpse of Him and for people to see Him in me rather than wanting support, to sell my house and insurance.
I am frustrated with the fact that in almost a quarter of a century, I am just now getting this but I have had access to it my whole life. I can't blame a church, a following, or even an idea. I can merely blame myself. My heart is deceitfully wicked, I have allowed my self to be blind to these things.
I have now, finally, realized one thing - I no longer am alive, it is all Christ who lives in me (Gal.2:20). I have been cynical about many things and not realizing my hypocrisy at the same time. I want a life that loves all, no matter what. It is easy to love Indians who need love, orphans, widows..... I want to love my enemy. I want to love the homosexual man that grates my nerves when he walks by, I want to love the Muslim who slaughters my country-men because he has heart as wicked as mine, I want to love the one who hates me for loving him. I want to love them so much that I would prefer to go to hell just so they wouldn't have to. (Romans 9:3)
I want the world to look into my eyes and see Christ.
So, today, I deny my christianity, my patriotism, my life, my family, my desires, my comfort, my happiness, my pride, my church, my friends, my mission board and any other thing that I put in front of Christ.
I want to spend my life for the poor, starving, uncontacted, dirty, hurt and despised. I want to find contentment in sorrow and pain. I want to suffer to make His name known. I want to share in His sufferings, I want to take on more than I can handle, because it is not I who do it but Christ. I want to confound the wise and religious with my actions. I want to do it all not for me, and not to "earn" my salvation, that's impossible, I want to do it because it is what Christ tells me to do. We hear " all you have to do is accept Christ in your heart, you don't want to go to hell do you" but we never share Luke 9:23-25, 57-62. I want it all, not just "to know I'm going to heaven". When Christ gave the gospel he never said, "you want to know you're going to heaven, right?" He said, " Love your neighbor as yourself, sell all you have, take care of the widows and the least of these, take up your cross daily, don't worry about tomorrow, worry about today, live as I live, etc". That is what it takes to follow him - not " to go to heaven" but to fulfill the sole reason I exist.
I don't want my savings account, diploma, logbook, possessions, and ideas unless they do exactly what he would have done with them. He didn't have anything, he gave it all for our sake. I want to give it all for His.
He didn't ask for our "hearts" , money, life, families, dreams. He DEMANDS it all in order to follow him. I no longer want to be lukewarm, thinking I'm hot. I want to be so hot that it burns, that it hurts. I want there to be no question.
I had the awesome opportunity to show Christ to a young girl who had a massive cut in her foot. Everyone else was busy playing but she could not. I took my drinking water and washed it, then I cleaned it with my fingers and bandaged it as best as I could. I rubbed her little feet and later washed them in the river. Why is this in here? Because she looked at me and said, " are you a Christian?". She had no idea we were a church group and I had not said one "Christian" thing the whole time. I simply loved her, gave what I had for her and she saw Christ in that. I would rather clean the wounds of the dirty, diseased and despised for my entire life than to live one day glorifying myself. She saw Christ - not in my Christianity but Him who was living through me.
I deny it all, not so that others might be saved or to find true joy - those are all secondary. I deny it all for Him and His glory.
For anyone who thinks that this is somehow, not right or out of line....it is - with Christianity. It is, however, right in line with Christ....he is the one who said it- Luke 14:33
Let me ask you something, I had to ask myself. Are you following Christ or are you following Christianity?
Ashley and I have been on a journey trying to figure it all out for a while now. We have read a lot of books but one book and one Author have made this decision for me. Christ never called us to Christianity - he called us to a life devoted solely to him....not a following.
I have had the opportunity to lead a lot of mission trips and visit a lot of churches. In this time I have been able to witness a lot of Christianity but I see very little of Christ. I see and have been a part of giving the "ABC's" of salvation but other than from Christ and few other books I don't hear anything about following him. How can we take part of what he says and deny the rest? I am guilty of it, horribly guilty of it. Now, I want no more of it.
I want one thing in life - Christ. I don't want the theology, buildings, programs, speeches, week-long experiences, or counterfeit conversions for the number book. I want Christ and I want him to have all of me. I don't want money - I want Him to take all of it. I want to desire wisdom, a glimpse of Him and for people to see Him in me rather than wanting support, to sell my house and insurance.
I am frustrated with the fact that in almost a quarter of a century, I am just now getting this but I have had access to it my whole life. I can't blame a church, a following, or even an idea. I can merely blame myself. My heart is deceitfully wicked, I have allowed my self to be blind to these things.
I have now, finally, realized one thing - I no longer am alive, it is all Christ who lives in me (Gal.2:20). I have been cynical about many things and not realizing my hypocrisy at the same time. I want a life that loves all, no matter what. It is easy to love Indians who need love, orphans, widows..... I want to love my enemy. I want to love the homosexual man that grates my nerves when he walks by, I want to love the Muslim who slaughters my country-men because he has heart as wicked as mine, I want to love the one who hates me for loving him. I want to love them so much that I would prefer to go to hell just so they wouldn't have to. (Romans 9:3)
I want the world to look into my eyes and see Christ.
So, today, I deny my christianity, my patriotism, my life, my family, my desires, my comfort, my happiness, my pride, my church, my friends, my mission board and any other thing that I put in front of Christ.
I want to spend my life for the poor, starving, uncontacted, dirty, hurt and despised. I want to find contentment in sorrow and pain. I want to suffer to make His name known. I want to share in His sufferings, I want to take on more than I can handle, because it is not I who do it but Christ. I want to confound the wise and religious with my actions. I want to do it all not for me, and not to "earn" my salvation, that's impossible, I want to do it because it is what Christ tells me to do. We hear " all you have to do is accept Christ in your heart, you don't want to go to hell do you" but we never share Luke 9:23-25, 57-62. I want it all, not just "to know I'm going to heaven". When Christ gave the gospel he never said, "you want to know you're going to heaven, right?" He said, " Love your neighbor as yourself, sell all you have, take care of the widows and the least of these, take up your cross daily, don't worry about tomorrow, worry about today, live as I live, etc". That is what it takes to follow him - not " to go to heaven" but to fulfill the sole reason I exist.
I don't want my savings account, diploma, logbook, possessions, and ideas unless they do exactly what he would have done with them. He didn't have anything, he gave it all for our sake. I want to give it all for His.
He didn't ask for our "hearts" , money, life, families, dreams. He DEMANDS it all in order to follow him. I no longer want to be lukewarm, thinking I'm hot. I want to be so hot that it burns, that it hurts. I want there to be no question.
I had the awesome opportunity to show Christ to a young girl who had a massive cut in her foot. Everyone else was busy playing but she could not. I took my drinking water and washed it, then I cleaned it with my fingers and bandaged it as best as I could. I rubbed her little feet and later washed them in the river. Why is this in here? Because she looked at me and said, " are you a Christian?". She had no idea we were a church group and I had not said one "Christian" thing the whole time. I simply loved her, gave what I had for her and she saw Christ in that. I would rather clean the wounds of the dirty, diseased and despised for my entire life than to live one day glorifying myself. She saw Christ - not in my Christianity but Him who was living through me.
I deny it all, not so that others might be saved or to find true joy - those are all secondary. I deny it all for Him and His glory.
For anyone who thinks that this is somehow, not right or out of line....it is - with Christianity. It is, however, right in line with Christ....he is the one who said it- Luke 14:33
Let me ask you something, I had to ask myself. Are you following Christ or are you following Christianity?
Thursday, August 4, 2011
Thankful Thursday: Best Friend
Today, I'm thankful for my best friend who I have been married to for 4 amazing years now!!
Who knew that we would be where we are today when we started dating in July of 2003? I am so thankful for the life God has given us together and look forward to what He has in store in the future.
This picture was taken in Costa Rica in 2004. This is the trip we both surrendered to be full-time missionaries.
Living the good life in the Andes Mountains in Argentina during our time at Word of Life (05'-06').
Posing by the "Getaway Car" at our wedding, August 4, 2007.
On the "slow boat" on our first trip to Brazi|, April 2009. It was here that God confirmed the calling in our hearts.
On March 29, 2010, our family grew by two feet when Elliott Tabor was born. We don't remember life without him now!
Sharing with a Witchdoctor on our most recent trip, December 2010.
So ridiculously and abundantly blessed beyond all reason by our awesome God.
To Him be the glory!!