tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post6055249324554218942..comments2023-05-09T02:32:06.301-07:00Comments on On the Beautiful Journey: Six Things Not to Say to an Adoptive ParentUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-42137603544785318622015-11-14T04:11:39.728-08:002015-11-14T04:11:39.728-08:00Thank you for this post and the original one. Thank you for this post and the original one. Mrs. Deeringhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13415436468238082569noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-38317775996282176502015-01-18T17:25:40.819-08:002015-01-18T17:25:40.819-08:00i am thankful you've stepped out in faith to a...i am thankful you've stepped out in faith to adopt! you are precious! your faith abounds. i pray He will sustain you through all this hardship...that one day she, too, will rise up and call you (both) blessed! i know that it's hard. i've seen it in the families of a few friends. i can't imagine. <br />keep up the loving and praying. in Christ alone.mamakthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14079601521255597755noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-29070806961301136412015-01-11T08:33:59.795-08:002015-01-11T08:33:59.795-08:00Thanks for your kind words, Sharren! I'll chec...Thanks for your kind words, Sharren! I'll check out your blog as well. Thanks for being a voice of truth out there and fighting the good fight.Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-15585807835727465702015-01-11T08:32:39.897-08:002015-01-11T08:32:39.897-08:00Thank you, Betsy. I have had several people recomm...Thank you, Betsy. I have had several people recommend that to me and plan to read it in the near future. Thank you for your kind words!Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-54008179834501629542015-01-10T19:43:38.232-08:002015-01-10T19:43:38.232-08:00I stumbled across The Ugly Side of Adoption blog y...I stumbled across The Ugly Side of Adoption blog you wrote and then found the link to this one on your blog site. Thank you so much! The same can be said of foster parenting. We recently had a teen age girl for 2 1/2 years and it was very rough. There were many ugly sides to the situation, that I won't take the time to write here. I needed to hear these things, and I plan to post the links to these two blogs on my own blog soon (ilovebeingaschoolcounselor.blogspot.com) I enjoy writing about real life issues that students and parents deal with, as well as my thoughts on issues that I have had experience with. Thank you!!Sharrenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16861150916642497696noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-37492190532480989242014-12-04T17:37:05.770-08:002014-12-04T17:37:05.770-08:00Just wanted to share a resource with you -- I am a...Just wanted to share a resource with you -- I am an adoptee and just this year discovered and read the book 'The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child' by Nancy Verrier. I found it absolutely fascinating, and resonated with a lot of it. <br />May God bless you and your family and give you strength as you follow and obey Him.Betsy Cainhttp://www.wix.com/sweetaugust/cainnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-32021720199667043212014-11-23T19:37:54.360-08:002014-11-23T19:37:54.360-08:00Thank you. I can't tell you just how encourag...Thank you. I can't tell you just how encouraging this was. We adopted a child at the age of 8. In no way were we prepared for what was to come. A child with attachment issues are Camillians. Our son is well mannered, charming and very polite outside the walls of our home. Six years later the lying and stealing are the least of his issues. Violence and rage have brought isolation and fear into our home. Social Services were so desperate to place him the were deceptive about his history. Leaving us without the tools early on. Our loving home was not, is not enough. Daily I ask the Lord for strength to get through the day and to show me how to love a child who has torn at the fabric of our home and family. Love is not enough, many adoption stories do not have silver linings. Transparency, education, therapy from the beginning are so very important. My heart aches when I see adoption success stories wishing that was our story. But maybe there is a lesson here. I don't know if our son will ever heal from his childhood trauma. I pray someday he will allow himself to be loved. That The Lord heals his heart. But people need to know that this road is not always paved.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-10304638635955973252014-11-21T05:49:08.802-08:002014-11-21T05:49:08.802-08:00What a blessing you choose to be even in the midst...What a blessing you choose to be even in the midst of severe trial! The thing I love about following Jesus is he doesn't expect perfection from us but rather to pick ourselves up and try again. See there is beauty in the struggle, we just can't see it until after the strength of God has helped us overcome it. Blessings to you and your beautiful family!;-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-1874027440061061242014-11-21T04:02:35.188-08:002014-11-21T04:02:35.188-08:00Yes, Brenda, we have friends with biological child...Yes, Brenda, we have friends with biological children with similar struggles. <br />I pray that you guys will find a way to overcome these struggles. God is able.Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-86969169626766563192014-11-21T04:01:09.972-08:002014-11-21T04:01:09.972-08:00Praise the Lord! I LOVE hearing stories like this....Praise the Lord! I LOVE hearing stories like this. God is able. Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-4470527280238713372014-11-21T03:59:43.663-08:002014-11-21T03:59:43.663-08:00Thanks, Hailey!! Love y'all too. I'm so so...Thanks, Hailey!! Love y'all too. I'm so sorry that neither of us got to hang out with y'all while we were Stateside!Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-74016927277715395842014-11-21T03:59:02.879-08:002014-11-21T03:59:02.879-08:00Thanks for reading! I'm glad it could encourag...Thanks for reading! I'm glad it could encourage you. Blessings!Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-56800368469346365532014-11-21T03:56:50.348-08:002014-11-21T03:56:50.348-08:00No, you are not alone! Until I posted my blog, I t...No, you are not alone! Until I posted my blog, I thought we were, too. But there is a whole group of us out there and it feels like the weight is a little lighter just knowing that. <br /><br />Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-67261504509656141722014-11-21T03:55:24.922-08:002014-11-21T03:55:24.922-08:00YES! God is the only good in us! We get this ALL t...YES! God is the only good in us! We get this ALL the time, too. That's the primary reason I try to be so honest on my blog. We are missionaries, too, so it gives people this idea that we are "super-human". "Wow! They are missionaries AND they adopted! These people are AMAZING!"... NO! We are people. We struggle and fail and the only amazing thing is that God's grace is sufficient to lift us back up to try again. <br /><br />To Him be the glory. <br /><br />Prayers for your family! I pray He will give you strength to face each new struggle. Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-83661324699895395802014-11-21T03:53:20.682-08:002014-11-21T03:53:20.682-08:00Thank you for your honesty! I'm glad you did y...Thank you for your honesty! I'm glad you did your research and were honest with yourself. I hope that you will continue to share your story with others to encourage them to see both sides. Not to prevent more from adopting, but to help them understand the realities and be better prepared should they feel led to adopt. Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-44927254855740134912014-11-21T03:51:25.653-08:002014-11-21T03:51:25.653-08:00Hi, Phyllis! I would love for you to share it if y...Hi, Phyllis! I would love for you to share it if you think it can help encourage someone. <br /><br />Thanks for your care for adoptive families! I don't think they'll think you are recommending parenting classes, lol. They'll probably feel more like, "Hey, this person actually care about the struggles we might be facing!" Big difference!<br /><br />:)Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-15809408271047434342014-11-20T08:54:04.023-08:002014-11-20T08:54:04.023-08:00About the first one: is it okay to talk about (and...About the first one: is it okay to talk about (and recommend) a class that I really like? We haven't adopted, but we are around a lot of adoptive parents, because we're in orphan care ministry, so I've gotten to sit in on some great classes and conferences. When I recommend them, does it sound like I'm saying, "You need parenting classes"? I hope not!<br /><br />I had more to say, but I'm being climbed on.... :-)Phyllishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09529794989164847124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-13240126936389368232014-11-20T07:12:05.091-08:002014-11-20T07:12:05.091-08:00I have a family member that adopted internationall...I have a family member that adopted internationally and it has been a struggle and a challenge for them. I did make a remark after listening to the challenges and it was "you didn't really think it was going to be easy did you?" I think they took it in a hurtful way, even though it was not meant that way. It was just an observation. I was going to adopt internationally, at one point in my life. I chose not to, as a single mom of a biological child, I didn't believe I had the resources within myself at that time to deal with the struggles and challenges I knew were to come. I had researched it, met with other families who had adopted and yes, the love was there, but I could see that it would be better with two parents. So my comment was not meant in a hurtful way, but rather, as I said as an observation. I did my research, and so should they have done their research. Instead it seemed as if it was a shock to them, the struggle to connect, attach and overcome barriers. To all those in the process of adoption, do your research, make sure you are prepared in your heart, not just for the rewards that are certain to be there, but the struggles and stress that come too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-80961665309477007472014-11-19T14:16:49.233-08:002014-11-19T14:16:49.233-08:00Thank you so much for this blog posting and your p...Thank you so much for this blog posting and your prior blog. A friend forwarded your blog to me, and I am so blessed to have read it. You have a way with words, to describe your feelings as well as responses to these rude comments- without being wordy. You are definitely blessed with a gift for writing. Please continue to share. Yes, there are trolls. And interestingly enough a lot of the rude comments you received and rebutted are sometimes thoughts that can pop up into my own mind- thoughts of doubt over our own adoption challenges that we are facing. Anyhow when you gave your responses to those unkind comments it really helped me with my own self-doubts. I hope that makes sense. Anyhow, my biggest struggle...my biggest complaint in this whole adoption journey is how terribly difficult it is for me to love this little feisty challenge we have brought into our family. Love. It's so tough. So easy for my bio child. So tough for this one. It shows me my ugliness every day. The ugliness in my heart that I wish I didn't have. I thought I was a better person before I adopted, and now I know that I am not a good person. People like to say what a good person I am because I adopted a child who has a disability....and I tell them that I am not a good person. God is good. He cares for this little one. He picked her. He wanted her adopted. I am not the good one. I mean it from the bottom of my heart-but people still don't get it. Anyhow....I'm going to sign this anonymous because I don't want any trolls on my blog! LOLAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-21396556768165571382014-11-19T07:00:20.007-08:002014-11-19T07:00:20.007-08:00Shecki,
Wow! Someone makes it their job to go aro...Shecki,<br /><br />Wow! Someone makes it their job to go around saying hateful things on blog posts? I think that must be the definition of a miserable existence. Praying that person can truly find Christ and the hope and peace He can bring. <br /><br />No, you weren't singled out! Richard and Ashleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01499823165892974087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-85601813740562827072014-11-18T12:50:34.032-08:002014-11-18T12:50:34.032-08:00Thanks so much for sharing your heart, it's so...Thanks so much for sharing your heart, it's so nice to read this and know that I am not the only one going through these trails.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-25890530743704702582014-11-18T11:36:07.524-08:002014-11-18T11:36:07.524-08:00These are such wise words--and a gracious rebuttal...These are such wise words--and a gracious rebuttal. I am so sorry you had some negative and cutting comments but I love your response to them.Sarahhttp://www.sarahdrinka.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-48633960156082793342014-11-18T07:14:09.149-08:002014-11-18T07:14:09.149-08:00I recently found your blog and have been so blesse...I recently found your blog and have been so blessed by it. Thank you!AmyThttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16251832477428400010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-64296515275316187142014-11-17T19:37:10.609-08:002014-11-17T19:37:10.609-08:00Thank you for sharing honestly and truthfully! Aft...Thank you for sharing honestly and truthfully! After 13 years of loving a child who was terribly wounded before he landed in my arms, I can truly say that I have experienced time and again the transformation of ashes into beauty.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7220373833294758704.post-82702658382560915212014-11-17T19:14:52.529-08:002014-11-17T19:14:52.529-08:00We walked the exact same road with our son startin...We walked the exact same road with our son starting 14 years ago. It was awful and I wished many times we would have not gone through with it. HOWEVER, the grace of God prevails!!!! Today he is the most wonderful attached teenager you would ever meet, loves the Lord and his siblings, and is the biggest delight to this Momma's heart. God restored the years the locusts had eaten. Hang in there my friend! God will finish what he started.chinaowensfam@gmail.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11257495496966211686noreply@blogger.com